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Many young people regularly change their jobs over the years. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

Many young people regularly change their jobs over the years. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
A number of employees prefer to switch between their jobs more often, over an extended period of time. In my opinion, the demerits overshadow the merits. To commence with, there are prominently two reasons behind switching from one job to another. Firstly, due to dissatisfaction at work, it happens mainly because of safety hazard such as outdated machinery or dilapidated infrastructure. As an effect, a worker begins his search for another job and joins it as soon as possible. In turn, it results in changing jobs until he manages to find the desired work conditions. Another major reason is not getting the deserving salary package, which usually happens if the size of organization is small or if the worker lacks experience, required for a certain job. Therefore the hunt for a new job with a handsome salary and optimal work conditions continues for several years. In my opinion, the drawbacks definitely overshadow the benefits. An important demerit is that the career progression suffers, as promotion is for those who work for extended period of time for a single company. So, a frequent job changer might not be able to reach the management level. As a result, it results in wastage of time. Moreover, such an employee would not be able to avail long term benefits, for instance an old age pension scheme. That is why, he fails to contribute to an organization substantially. Hence, changing jobs on a frequent basis affects the career adversely. In conclusion, in view of the above mentioned reasons, job dissatisfaction along with underpaid job, I believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.
A number of employees prefer to switch between their
jobs
more
often
, over an extended period of time. In my opinion, the demerits overshadow the merits.

To commence with, there are
prominently
two reasons behind switching from one
job
to another.
Firstly
, due to dissatisfaction at
work
, it happens
mainly
because
of safety hazard such as outdated machinery or dilapidated infrastructure. As an effect, a worker
begins
his search for another
job
and
joins
it as
soon
as possible. In turn, it results in changing
jobs
until he manages to find the desired
work
conditions. Another major reason is not getting the deserving salary package, which
usually
happens if the size of organization is
small
or if the worker lacks experience, required for a certain
job
.
Therefore
the hunt for a new
job
with a handsome salary and optimal
work
conditions continues for several years.

In my opinion, the drawbacks definitely overshadow the benefits. An
important
demerit is that the career progression suffers, as promotion is for those who
work
for extended period of time for a single
company
.
So
, a frequent
job
changer might not be able to reach the management level.
As a result
, it results in wastage of time.
Moreover
, such an employee would not be able to avail long term benefits,
for instance
an
old
age pension scheme.
That is
why, he fails to contribute to an organization
substantially
.
Hence
, changing
jobs
on a frequent basis affects the career
adversely
.

In conclusion
, in view of the above mentioned reasons,
job
dissatisfaction along with underpaid
job
, I believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Many young people regularly change their jobs over the years. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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