Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many young people regularly change their jobs over the years. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

Many young people regularly change their jobs over the years. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
A number of employees prefer to switch between their jobs more often, over an extended period of time. In my opinion, the demerits overshadow the merits. To commence with, there are prominently two reasons behind switching from one job to another. Firstly, due to dissatisfaction at work, it happens mainly because of safety hazard such as outdated machinery or dilapidated infrastructure. As an effect, a worker begins his search for another job and joins it as soon as possible. In turn, it results in changing jobs until he manages to find the desired work conditions. Another major reason is not getting the deserving salary package, which usually happens if the size of organization is small or if the worker lacks experience, required for a certain job. Therefore the hunt for a new job with a handsome salary and optimal work conditions continues for several years. In my opinion, the drawbacks definitely overshadow the benefits. An important demerit is that the career progression suffers, as promotion is for those who work for extended period of time for a single company. So, a frequent job changer might not be able to reach the management level. As a result, it results in wastage of time. Moreover, such an employee would not be able to avail long term benefits, for instance an old age pension scheme. That is why, he fails to contribute to an organization substantially. Hence, changing jobs on a frequent basis affects the career adversely. In conclusion, in view of the above mentioned reasons, job dissatisfaction along with underpaid job, I believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.
A number of employees prefer to switch between their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
, over an extended period of time. In my opinion, the demerits overshadow the merits.

To commence with, there are
prominently
two reasons behind switching from one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
to another.
Firstly
, due to dissatisfaction at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, it happens
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of safety hazard such as outdated machinery or dilapidated infrastructure. As an effect, a worker
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
his search for another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joins
it as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible. In turn, it results in changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
until he manages to find the desired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
conditions. Another major reason is not getting the deserving salary package, which
usually
happens if the size of organization is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
or if the worker lacks experience, required for a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
the hunt for a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with a handsome salary and optimal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
conditions continues for several years.

In my opinion, the drawbacks definitely overshadow the benefits. An
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
demerit is that the career progression suffers, as promotion is for those who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for extended period of time for a single
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, a frequent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
changer might not be able to reach the management level.
As a result
, it results in wastage of time.
Moreover
, such an employee would not be able to avail long term benefits,
for instance
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age pension scheme.
That is
why, he fails to contribute to an organization
substantially
.
Hence
, changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
on a frequent basis affects the career
adversely
.

In conclusion
, in view of the above mentioned reasons,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
dissatisfaction along with underpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, I believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Many young people regularly change their jobs over the years. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts