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Many young people leave their own countries to work abroad. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of working abroad and give your own opinion v.1

Many young people leave their own countries to work abroad. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of working abroad and give your own opinion v. 1
Instead of working in their own nations, some young employees decide to find a job in a foreign country. This essay will show that this is a positive trend and can enhance people’s capabilities. It will first suggest that the increased opportunities to work and enhance skills is the primary advantage, followed by a discussion of not all of people are employed in appropriate careers. The main benefit of working overseas bring to young workers is the opportunities to develop and perfect their skills. To elaborate, many nations do not have enough conditions to create the ideal environment for people and with new working zone, they can not only get a suitable job but also access to developed technology to improve abilities. A recent survey conducted by Saigon University found that students who decided to work in other countries are 25% more likely to get expected jobs. One possible drawback is that the competitive environment in foreign nations leads to disillusionment. Despite of more options in jobs, young employees without experiences are struggling with others to be hired. As a result, many people have careers which are under their capabilities or not to be the same as their expectations. The VTC News reported that 40% of workers removed Vietnam to other nations are not working in their fields. Overall, it is a very positive trend because young people will take advantage of working abroad to develop their job qualifications, gain more new skills in developed nations. Although the extreme working environment will put people under pressure, I think it is a chance to strengthen their personalities as well as widen their experiences. . In conclusion, going to work overseas has opened many doors to employees and though it can sometimes tend to be competitive and disillusioned, it is a very positive step to enhance quality in work force.
Instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
employees decide to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in a foreign country. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend and can enhance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
capabilities. It will
first
suggest that the increased opportunities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and enhance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
is the primary advantage, followed by a discussion of not all of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are employed
in appropriate careers.

The main benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
overseas bring to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
workers is the opportunities to develop and perfect their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. To elaborate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
conditions to create the ideal environment for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and with new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
zone, they can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
access to developed technology to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
abilities. A recent survey conducted by Saigon University found that students who decided to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in other countries are 25% more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
jobs.

One possible drawback is that the competitive environment in foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
leads to disillusionment.
Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
more options in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
employees without experiences are struggling with others to
be hired
.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have careers which are under their capabilities or not to be the same as their expectations. The VTC News reported that 40% of workers removed Vietnam to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in their fields.

Overall
, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will take advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
abroad to develop their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
qualifications, gain more new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. Although the extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
environment will put
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
under pressure, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is a chance to strengthen their personalities
as well
as widen their experiences.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.


In conclusion
, going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
overseas has opened
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
doors to employees and though it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
tend to be competitive and disillusioned, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
step to enhance quality in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
force.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Many young people leave their own countries to work abroad. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of working abroad and give your own opinion v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
308 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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