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Some people believe that companies should be allowed to collect data about customers freely, while others believe this practice should be restricted. Discuss both sides of this issue. v.1

Some people believe that companies should be allowed to collect data about customers freely, while others believe this practice should be restricted. v. 1
These days companies collect vast amounts of information about consumers, which has some favorable and unfavorable consequences. While allowing companies to collect customer data can help them create products that meet consumer demands, regulating this practice may be necessary because customer information is often stolen and/or used dishonestly. Even the most successful companies rarely produce a great product on their first try. Instead, they submit their first attempts to rigorous testing so they can improve what they’ve created over time. Collecting data about current and potential customers is an essential component of this process. Companies need to learn as much as possible about what customers like and don’t like, where they live, how old they are, and what they do with their purchase. The internet makes assembling these data easy and efficient, and smart companies take advantage of it. Since this process often leads to useful and enjoyable innovations, it seems reasonable that companies should be allowed to collect the data they need to improve their products. Unfortunately, customer data collection does not always lead to such positive outcomes. There are many examples in the news of financial institutions and large stores whose consumer data has been stolen and used for negative purposes. Companies that collect personal information and credit card numbers are particularly vulnerable to attack because this information can be used by criminals in a wide variety of ways. Furthermore, some companies sell their consumer data to third parties, such as insurance and medical providers, without disclosing this practice to consumers. Even if not technically illegal, this situation suggests that data collection should be restricted in some ways. Until regulations are put in place, we should all assume that everything we do online is public information and that companies will use it to enhance their profits. Some of these uses will be for good, while others should be regulated.
These days
companies
collect
vast amounts of
information
about
consumers
, which has
some
favorable and unfavorable consequences. While allowing
companies
to
collect
customer
data
can
help
them create products that
meet
consumer
demands, regulating this practice may be necessary
because
customer
information
is
often
stolen and/or
used
dishonestly
.

Even the most successful
companies
rarely produce a great product on their
first
try.
Instead
, they submit their
first
attempts to rigorous testing
so
they can
improve
what they’ve created over time. Collecting
data
about
current
and potential
customers
is an essential component of this process.
Companies
need to learn as much as possible about what
customers
like and don’t like, where they
live
, how
old
they are, and what they do with their
purchase
. The internet
makes
assembling these
data
easy and efficient, and smart
companies
take advantage of it. Since this process
often
leads to useful and enjoyable innovations, it seems reasonable that
companies
should be
allowed
to
collect
the
data
they need to
improve
their products.

Unfortunately,
customer
data
collection does not always lead to such
positive
outcomes. There are
many
examples in the news of financial institutions and large stores whose
consumer
data
has
been stolen
and
used
for
negative
purposes.
Companies
that
collect
personal
information
and credit card numbers are
particularly
vulnerable to attack
because
this
information
can be
used
by criminals in a wide variety of ways.
Furthermore
,
some
companies
sell their
consumer
data
to third parties, such as insurance and medical providers, without disclosing this practice to
consumers
. Even if not
technically
illegal, this situation suggests that
data
collection should
be restricted
in
some
ways.

Until regulations
are put
in place, we should all assume that everything we do online is public
information
and that
companies
will
use
it to enhance their profits.
Some
of these
uses
will be for
good
, while others should
be regulated
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that companies should be allowed to collect data about customers freely, while others believe this practice should be restricted. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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