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In many countries the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of the crime? How can we deal with those causes? v. 6

A crime free country is every country's hope. Many problems occur because of increased rates of crimes in a nation. This essay will state the major causes of illegal acts and give a solution to the menace caused by it. It will state that unemployment is the major culprit for increased crime rate and give a solution of providing Job opportunities and empowerment programmes. To begin with, the major reason why crimes seem to be on the rise is because of lack of Jobs. As a result of unavailability of jobs to members of the society, they have resorted to committing petty crimes such as stealing in order to survive. For example illegal activities increased in Malawi after the President cut the budget on Job provisions in 2018. As a result of this, youths were seen roaming the streets and extorting unsuspecting passersby of their hard earned money. Furthermore, a viable way to deal with this menace usurping the nation is the provision of more job opportunities. The government must ensure that more jobs are made available for different cadres of the society in order, to prevent them from being idle. Also, the government can provide empowerment schemes for uneducated citizens in order to counsel them about alternate sources of incomes asides professional jobs. I remember being without Job for 2 years but after attending an empowerment programme where we were taught different skills from makeup to hairdressing. I was able to start my own business with the grant given by the government after the successful completion of the course. This feat would not have been possible without the government creating alternate avenues for Job.

IELTS essay In many countries the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of the crime? How can we deal with those causes? v.6

A
crime
free country is every country's hope.
Many
problems occur
because
of increased rates of
crimes
in a nation. This essay will state the major causes of illegal acts and give a solution to the menace caused by it. It will state that unemployment is the major culprit for increased
crime
rate and give a solution of providing
Job
opportunities and empowerment
programmes
. To
begin
with, the major reason why
crimes
seem to be on the rise is
because
of lack of
Jobs
.
As a result
of unavailability of
jobs
to members of the society, they have resorted to committing petty
crimes
such as stealing in order to survive.
For example
illegal activities increased in Malawi after the President
cut
the budget on
Job
provisions in 2018.
As a result
of this, youths were
seen
roaming the streets and extorting unsuspecting passersby of their
hard earned
money.
Furthermore
, a viable way to deal with this menace usurping the nation is the provision of more
job
opportunities. The
government
must
ensure that more
jobs
are made
available for
different
cadres of the society in order, to
prevent
them from being idle.
Also
, the
government
can provide empowerment schemes for uneducated citizens in order to counsel them about alternate sources of incomes asides professional
jobs
. I remember being without
Job
for 2 years
but
after attending an empowerment
programme
where we
were taught
different
skills
from makeup to hairdressing. I was able to
start
my
own
business with the grant
given
by the
government
after the successful completion of the course. This feat would not have been possible without the
government
creating alternate avenues for
Job
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Essay
3 paragraphs
275 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Band score ≥ 7
  • Band score ≤ 6
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