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Many children have unsupervised access to the internet and are using the internet to socialize with others. This can lead to a number of dangerous situations that can be threatening for children. What problems do children face when going online without parental supervision. How can these be tackled. v.2

Many children have unsupervised access to the internet and are using the internet to socialize with others. This can lead to a number of dangerous situations that can be threatening for children. What problems do children face when going online without parental supervision. How can these be tackled. v. 2
Advancement of technology enables our children with easy access of internet and make friendship with anyone without any proper guidance which have many consequences. One of the main problems with this is that the children can be cheated by strangers, but this can be reduced by giving proper guidance and other ways of safe usage of internet. Young children are always eager to make new friends. Therefore, gaining access to the internet and social media sites will make them contact with many strangers. Few of the strangers can be a thief, trying to steal information’s about credit cards of parents of these kids. Teenagers can be easily cheated by these thieves by making them believe about some cool offers about games or gadgets, which young children always wanted. For instance, in a survey conducted by internet security awareness agency in 2018 in India, 76 percentage of the robbery associated with credit cards is involved with kids. The main reason for kids being fall under fraudulence is the lack of proper guidance. Parents can play a major role in giving proper suggestions to the kids. First step a family can do is to make a friendly atmosphere at home to discuss about the friends that kids are making in social media. Accordingly, they can check any unwanted behaviour from any of the internet friends of their children. Monitoring the history of internet usage is another way of handling the issue. Nowadays, there are many applications by which parents can easily check the history of web usage. In conclusion, there are many problems associated with web usage by youngsters, but usage of internet is inevitable. For that reason, there must be proper observations on web usage. With proper guidance and proper monitoring social media usage can be a good moment for youngsters.
Advancement of technology enables our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with easy access of internet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
friendship with anyone without any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guidance
which have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
consequences. One of the main problems with this is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
be cheated
by strangers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guidance
and other ways of safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
of internet.

Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are always eager to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
new friends.
Therefore
, gaining access to the internet and social media sites will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them contact with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
strangers. Few of the strangers can be a thief, trying to steal information’s about credit cards of parents of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Teenagers
can be
easily
cheated by these thieves by making them believe about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cool offers about games or gadgets, which young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
always wanted.
For instance
, in a survey conducted by internet security awareness agency in 2018 in India, 76 percentage of the robbery associated with credit cards
is involved
with kids.

The main reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
being fall under fraudulence is the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guidance
. Parents can play a major role in giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
suggestions to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
.
First
step a family can do is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a friendly atmosphere at home to
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
friends that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
are making in social media.
Accordingly
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
any unwanted
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
from any of the internet friends of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Monitoring the history of internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
is another way of handling the issue. Nowadays, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
applications by which parents can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the history of web usage.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems associated with web
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
by youngsters,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
of internet is inevitable. For that reason, there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
observations on web
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
. With
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guidance
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
monitoring social media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
can be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
moment for youngsters.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Many children have unsupervised access to the internet and are using the internet to socialize with others. This can lead to a number of dangerous situations that can be threatening for children. What problems do children face when going online without parental supervision. How can these be tackled. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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