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Many children have unsupervised access to the internet and are using the internet to socialize with others. This can lead to a number of dangerous situations that can be threatening for children. What problems do children face when going online without parental supervision. How can these be tackled v.1

Many children have unsupervised access to the internet and are using the internet to socialize with others. This can lead to a number of dangerous situations that can be threatening for children. What problems do children face when going online without parental supervision. How can these be tackled v. 1
Nowadays people feel unsafe both in their home or outside. In public areas people feel insecure because of the increased crime rate. People also feel unsafe in places because of natural disasters and lack of proper securities around the region. Installing more CCTVs, increasing patrols of police in the area and proper functioning of authority agencies to deliver announcements about natural disasters can be a solution to these problems. Crime rates around us are increasing. The newspaper and tv media are spreading this news more often than before. Some media always exaggerate this type news, especially in which violence against women and children are involved. Therefore, people are not only aware of the news, but are becoming more concerned about their own security. Inside home was considered as a safe place, but because of many natural disasters happening across the world, it also became a place which needs precautions. Natural disasters like earthquakes or tsunamis are happening in a short period and people in that area cannot escape from the adverse effects of these calamities. In order to tackle this problem, authority can take several steps. Installing more cctv's in public areas will reduce violence because it will increase the fear of being caught by the law. They can increase the number of police in each public place in order to control crimes. For example, every corner of the public areas is covered by CCTVs in Singapore. By the findings of national agency of investigation, this decreased their crime rate very effectively. The death rate or the damage due to natural disasters can reduce by proper announcements. By the increased use of technologies now we can estimate the chances of some natural disasters, if the authority properly sends this information to the common people, they can escape from the adverse effect of these disasters. In conclusion, people are always concerned about their security but increased anxiety about security will lead to other psychological problems. By joint efforts of media people and authority this over anxiety about security can eliminate.
Nowadays
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people
feel unsafe both in their home or outside. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel insecure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the increased crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
also
feel unsafe in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disasters
and lack of proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
securities
around the region. Installing more
Possible spelling mistake found.
CCTVs
, increasing patrols of police in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
and proper functioning of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authority
agencies to deliver announcements about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disasters
can be a solution to these problems.

Crime
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rates
around us are increasing. The newspaper and
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
media are spreading this news more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
media always exaggerate this type news,
especially
in which violence against women and children
are involved
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
aware of the news,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
are becoming more concerned about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
. Inside home
was considered
as a safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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natural
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disasters
happening across the world, it
also
became a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
which needs precautions.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disasters
like earthquakes or tsunamis are happening in a short period and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
cannot escape from the adverse effects of these calamities.

In order to tackle this problem,
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authority
can take several steps. Installing more
Possible spelling mistake found.
cctv
's in
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public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
violence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will increase the fear of
being caught
by the law. They can increase the number of police in each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
in order to control crimes.
For example
, every corner of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is covered
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
CCTVs
in Singapore. By the findings of national agency of investigation, this decreased their crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
effectively
. The death
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rate
or the damage due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disasters
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
by proper announcements. By the increased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of technologies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
we can estimate the chances of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disasters
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authority
properly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sends
this information to the common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, they can escape from the adverse effect of these disasters.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are always concerned about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
increased anxiety about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
will lead to other psychological problems. By joint efforts of media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authority
this over anxiety about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
can eliminate.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
46Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay Many children have unsupervised access to the internet and are using the internet to socialize with others. This can lead to a number of dangerous situations that can be threatening for children. What problems do children face when going online without parental supervision. How can these be tackled v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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