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Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in the free times and have health probles as a result. Why do many working people do not get enough exercise? what can be done about these problem? v.1

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in the free times and have health probles as a result. Why do many working people do not get enough exercise? what can be done about these problem? v. 1
Nowadays, most of the people around the world are busy in their work to make their life better, meanwhile, they overlook their health, moreover, easily compromised with their diet and exercise. This essay will discuss the causes and solutions that will help people to stay healthy. Firstly, in this modern world, most of the workplaces are computerized. So neither physical movement nor hard work is needed in their jobs. For example, in factories, the majority of the work is done by machines they only need human supervision. Furthermore, when people get free time, they will spend it watching television or on smartphones. For instance, when friends are together in a park or somewhere else, they will play video games. Moreover, children and teenagers also have these issues and now it is their lifestyle. To avoid these problems, people need to be more conscious about health. However, it is not possible to change the working conditions. A possible solution is people should try to utilize their time and do activities whenever they get an opportunity. To illustrate, choose walking or cycling instead of a car or metro while going to the office. Another option is to play some exciting sports with friends or family at free time. For example, play football with friends in the park, such activities will help people to stay energetic. To conclude, now, it is difficult to do a proper workout to stay fit. Moreover, people should take some initiative for their workouts. They can choose walking, cycling or any sports they are interested in, without enough exercise and diet, they will suffer in the future.
Nowadays, most of the
people
around the world are busy in their work to
make
their life better, meanwhile, they overlook their health,
moreover
,
easily
compromised with their diet and exercise. This essay will discuss the causes and solutions that will
help
people
to stay healthy.

Firstly
, in this modern world, most of the workplaces
are computerized
.
So
neither physical movement nor
hard
work
is needed
in their jobs.
For example
, in factories, the majority of the work
is done
by machines they
only
need human supervision.
Furthermore
, when
people
get
free time, they will spend it watching television or on smartphones.
For instance
, when friends are together in a park or somewhere else, they will play video games.
Moreover
, children and
teenagers
also
have these issues and
now
it is their lifestyle.

To avoid these problems,
people
need to be more conscious about health.
However
, it is not possible to
change
the working conditions. A possible solution is
people
should try to utilize their time and do activities whenever they
get
an opportunity. To illustrate, choose walking or cycling
instead
of a car or metro while going to the office. Another option is to play
some
exciting sports with friends or family at free time.
For example
, play football with friends in the park, such activities will
help
people
to stay energetic.

To conclude
,
now
, it is difficult to do a proper workout to stay fit.
Moreover
,
people
should take
some
initiative for their workouts. They can choose walking, cycling or any sports they
are interested
in, without
enough
exercise and diet, they will suffer in the future.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in the free times and have health probles as a result. Why do many working people do not get enough exercise? what can be done about these problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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