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In many countries people tend to move overseas or move to a different part of their country after retirement. Discuss why this is so and the outcomes of this situation. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v.4

In many countries people tend to move overseas or move to a different part of their country after retirement. Discuss why this is so and the outcomes of this situation. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 4
A lot of individuals relocate abroad or to other parts of the country after retirement. In my opinion, I believe this happens because of the need for adventure and for others, to seek greener pastures. There are a number of reasons people move overseas or another state within their nation after retirement, Firstly, the need to see other parts of the world. For someone who has spent all their lives in a particular location, they may want to see other cultures, learn people's languages and generally see how people of other tribes live, work and play. For example, in Nigeria only, we have about 1000tribes and someone may feel the need to experience those cultures. Secondly, this may be for the development of their passion. For instance, someone may have always thought about being an actor, but has never had the opportunity. Being in Hollywood may present that chance to pursue their interests. Finally, people relocate to other places to seek better opportunities in life. Take for example, families from underdeveloped countries who have earned low income all their life, they would definitely look forward to helping their families have better lives. The effect of this movement sometimes are not all positive. This can cause separation from families and also opportunities may not come as envisaged. Being away from one's family can impact negatively in the long run because the person will be amongst strangers whom they may not be trustworthy. Also, one may not get the sort of opportunities they planned for before leaving their home countries. For example, a musician that already his or her mind set on releasing records, but gets to the host Country and discovered it is not as easy as it seems. In conclusion, while it may be good to change location or move around the world after retirement, one has to consider the disadvantages as well so as not to be disappointed.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
individuals relocate abroad or to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
parts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
after retirement. In my opinion, I believe this happens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the need for adventure and for others, to seek greener pastures.

There are a number of reasons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
overseas or another state within their nation after retirement,
Firstly
, the need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
parts of the world. For someone who has spent all their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in a particular location, they may want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cultures, learn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's languages and
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
tribes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, work and play.
For example
, in Nigeria
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
, we have about 1000tribes and someone may feel the need to experience those cultures.
Secondly
, this may be for the development of their passion.
For instance
, someone may have always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
about being an actor,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
has never had the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
. Being in Hollywood may present that chance to pursue their interests.
Finally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
relocate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
places to seek better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
in life. Take
for example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
from underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
who have earned low income all their life, they would definitely look forward to helping their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
have better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

The effect of this movement
The adverb 'sometimes' usually goes after the verb 'are'.
sometimes are
not all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
. This can cause separation from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
may not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
as envisaged. Being away from one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
can impact
negatively
in the long run
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the person will be amongst strangers whom they may not be trustworthy.
Also
, one may not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the sort of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
they planned for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
leaving their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For example
, a musician that already
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
mind set on releasing records,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
to the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
and discovered it is not as easy as it seems.

In conclusion
, while it may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
location or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
around the world after retirement, one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
consider the disadvantages
as well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
as not to
be disappointed
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries people tend to move overseas or move to a different part of their country after retirement. Discuss why this is so and the outcomes of this situation. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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