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Many working people get little or no exercise during the workday or in their free time and have health problems as a result. Why do many people do not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem? v.7

In recent times, there has been an urge to climb up the corporate ladder sooner which has led to employees spending huge amounts of time at work leaving them no time for any physical activity. Due to which majority of the working class people have been facing health issues sooner than in later years. In this essay, I will discuss the possible reasons for this concern and also elaborate feasible solutions. To start with, new technology has given humans the medium to interact without physically moving to another location. There are virtual teleconferencing and meetings wherein people from different geographies can communicate without having to move from their desks. Secondly they are obsessed with completing their tasks and working overtime to achieve monetary gains. All this had led to a sedentary lifestyle; leaving no or little time for people for physical activity. To illustrate, it has been found that 80% of all workers tend to spend 6 hours at a stretch on desk and with very little to no movement. Having said that, people need to understand the health complications that can arise of these habits. The most common being, lower back issues and eye fatigue which is a result of sitting long hours glaring into their computers without any breaks. Organisations need to recognise these concerns and develop policies and physical training sessions for employee welfare. To exemplify airlines companies, have weight limitations this ensures that staff do not gain excess weight and are fit for work. Some companies issue gym membership and organise sports tournaments for their employees. To recapitulate, the employers and employees need to acknowledge the side effects of spending long hours at work. They need to start introducing some form of physical activity in their mundane lifestyle to have healthy balance life.
In recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, there has been an urge to climb up the corporate ladder sooner which has led to employees spending huge amounts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at work leaving them no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activity. Due to which majority of the working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have been facing health issues sooner than in later years. In this essay, I will discuss the possible reasons for this concern and
also
elaborate feasible solutions.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, new technology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
humans the medium to interact without
physically
moving to another location. There are virtual teleconferencing and meetings wherein
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
geographies can communicate without having to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from their desks.
Secondly
they
are obsessed
with completing their tasks and working overtime to achieve monetary gains. All this had led to a sedentary lifestyle; leaving no or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activity. To illustrate, it has
been found
that 80% of all workers tend to spend 6 hours at a stretch on desk and with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
to no movement.

Having said that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to understand the health complications that can arise of these habits. The most common being, lower back issues and eye fatigue which is a result of sitting long hours glaring into their computers without any breaks. Organisations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to recognise these concerns and develop policies and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
training sessions for employee welfare. To exemplify airlines
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, have weight limitations this ensures that staff do not gain excess weight and
are fit
for work.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
issue gym membership and organise sports tournaments for their employees.

To recapitulate, the employers and employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to acknowledge the side effects of spending long hours at work. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
introducing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activity in their mundane lifestyle to have healthy balance life.
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IELTS essay Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do so many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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