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Do you agree or disagree: people learn things from those in their own level than from those at a higher level v.1

: people learn things from those in their own level than from those at a higher level v. 1
When it comes to the learning, there are vast variety of effective factors that should be considered. The teacher or in other word, a person who teaches, also must have some critical characteristics to be accepted as a great one. Personally, I have always learned better from my classmates than my teachers. There are three main reasons to show why I have this preference. First and foremost, all too often, there are the same outlook for two classmates or co-workers to the problems which it is made them to have the same perception of matters. Therefore, they explanation for one solution would be more understandable for another one. I remember when I was studying in the university, I had a friend with I studied most of the time. Whenever I had any problem in the lesson which had been thought by the professor, I have asked her to explain it to me and her explanation would be more effective than the teachers' . Another prominent reason, it has been said that, if you want to be an excellent teacher, have to consider yourself at the same level that your students are. Actually, if you look the learners from above, the things that is thought, will not be comprehensible. For example, I have an intelligent bother who is very clever but he never could explain my math problems in an easy way which could be acceptable for me, because, he always looks at matters from his point of view but not mine. Last but not least, there are more trust between two friends or colleagues rather than between a person from lower level and higher authority and it leads to more impact on each other. For instance, if employees have some problems, they would prefer to ask their co-workers to explain about them but not their managers. Because they assume their colleagues in the same level and they know these questions would not affect the colleagues' perception of them. To sum up, some factors such as same outlooks to the problems, being under the same circumstances, and more trust will cause to learning better from those who are at their own peoples' level than those at the higher levels.
When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the learning, there are vast variety of effective factors that should
be considered
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
or in other word, a person who teaches,
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
critical characteristics to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
as a great one.
Personally
, I have always learned better from my classmates than my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. There are three main reasons to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
why I have this preference.

First
and foremost, all too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
, there are the same
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "outlooks"?
outlook
for two classmates or co-workers to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
which it
is made
them to have the same perception of matters.
Therefore
,
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'they'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
they explanation
for one solution would be more understandable for another one. I remember when I was studying in the university, I had a friend with I studied most of the time. Whenever I had any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
in the lesson which had been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by the professor, I have asked her to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it to me and her explanation would be more effective than the
Possible spelling mistake found.
teachers&
#039;
Don't put a space before the full stop
.


Another prominent reason, it has
been said
that, if you want to be an excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
consider yourself at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
that your students are. Actually, if you look the learners from above, the things
that is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
, will not be comprehensible.
For example
, I have an intelligent bother who is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
clever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he never could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my math
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
Consider replacing "in an easy way" with the adverb for "easy"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an easy way
which could be acceptable for me,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, he always looks at matters from his point of view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not mine.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, there are more trust between two friends or colleagues
rather
than between a person from lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
and higher authority and it leads to more impact on each other.
For instance
, if employees have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, they would prefer to ask their co-workers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
about them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not their managers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they assume their colleagues in the same
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
level and
they know these questions would not affect the
Possible spelling mistake found.
colleagues&
#039; perception of them.

To sum up,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
factors such as same outlooks to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, being under the same circumstances, and more trust will cause to learning better from those who are at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Possible spelling mistake found.
peoples&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
than those at the higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
levels
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay : people learn things from those in their own level than from those at a higher level v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
368 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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