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Many things that used to be done in the home by hands are now being done by machines Does this development bring more advantages or disadvantages v.2

Many things that used to be done in the home by hands are now being done by machines Does this development bring more advantages or disadvantages v. 2
Technology has advanced from hand blenders to food processors, manual washing to automatic machines, and these new appliances have made people’s life more comfortable as compared to past. It is almost unimaginable one modern household functions without modern household appliances. This rapid development has lessened the burden for many and proved beneficial; however, it has posses’ drawbacks to mankind and environment which cannot be ignored. Firstly, let’s discuss the positive aspects. In this modern era, where everybody is occupied especially the working ladies, with the new inventions people do not have much trouble in doing house chores. The time spends for doing household work has reduced remarkably. In this way, people can save a lot of their, which is the most valuable asset in the modern society. In addition to this, it has helped those who are not skilled in cooking, washing, cleaning and other house activities. As these consumer goods are self-explanatory and automatic most of the time, therefore, anyone with basic knowledge of the language can cook or wash by following simple manual in just couples of minutes. On the other hand, these increase used of electronic goods brings itself high energy consumptions that leads to the rise in environmental pollution. It has been observed that, compared to earlier times, more amount of energy is consumed these days in doing house chores. For instance, to wash clothes 7 units of energy is consumed by average family, combining it with the existing population this accounts of high energy utilisation. Therefore, it is serious problem which needs to be addressed. To conclude, modern appliances are invented to make people’s life easier and they are successful in that, however, the cost environment has to bear overweighs its benefits. Therefore, everyone should use energy efficient appliances, and that will still make the life of people easier and more convenient yet eco-friendly.
Technology has advanced from hand blenders to food processors, manual washing to automatic machines, and these new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appliances
have made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life more comfortable as compared to past. It is almost unimaginable one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
household functions without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appliances
. This rapid development has lessened the burden for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
and proved beneficial;
however
, it has posses’ drawbacks to mankind and environment which cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
’s discuss the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects. In this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
era, where everybody
is occupied
especially
the working ladies, with the new inventions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have much trouble in doing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
chores. The time spends for doing household work has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
remarkably
. In this way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
their, which is the most valuable asset in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
society.
In addition
to this, it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
those who are not skilled in cooking, washing, cleaning and other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
activities. As these consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
are self-explanatory and automatic most of the time,
therefore
, anyone with basic knowledge of the language can cook or wash by following simple manual in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
couples of minutes.

On the other hand
, these increase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
of electronic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
brings itself high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
Possible spelling mistake found.
consumptions
that leads to the rise in environmental pollution. It has
been observed
that, compared to earlier times, more amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
is consumed
these days in doing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
chores.
For instance
, to wash clothes 7 units of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
is consumed
by average family, combining it with the existing population this accounts of high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilisation' is British English.
utilisation
.
Therefore
, it
Please check whether an article is missing: "is a serious" or "is an serious"
is serious
problem which needs to
be addressed
.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appliances
are invented
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
easier and
they are successful in that,
however
, the cost environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
bear
Possible spelling mistake found.
overweighs
its benefits.
Therefore
, everyone should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
efficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appliances
, and that will
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
easier and more convenient
yet
eco-friendly.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay Many things that used to be done in the home by hands are now being done by machines Does this development bring more advantages or disadvantages v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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