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Many things that used to be done in the home by hands now being done by machines. Does the development bring more advantages or disadvantages. v.1

Many things that used to be done in the home by hands now being done by machines. Does the development bring more advantages or disadvantages. v. 1
Automation has been the concept that always in the debates from the beginning of the century. A lot of people think that machines replacing humans in work is bad for society and some people argue that it is good to replace machines in everywhere. In fact, we need machines, but the usage of the must be limited. After industrial revolution everything is changed. Machines started working in the place of the humans. This trend started picking up at the end of the twentieth century and because of the great improvements in the technology they became a part in the household. Machines like washing machine, dishwasher, oven, mixer they became a part of the life. In the past people used to do all work using hands, especially house work like washing, grinding etc. . . , but after introduction of the machines in household no one willing to those things by hand. Using machines in washing dishes and clothes may decrease the efforts, but also decreasing the physical efforts. This is the main complaint from many people, they claim that depending on those machines too much may lead to laziness and some physical problems. We need some machines to be replaced humans because of the safety, efforts, and time. Avoiding some and working with human hands, will helpful to maintain physical strength. Working with our own hands gives better results sometimes. This is because of our logical thinking, we know easy ways to do work with a lot of logic, but machines are programmed to do in a particular way. We can't change the way it works all time. So sometimes it is better to put some human efforts at work. To conclude, machine usage must be in control and we reduce the dependency on them and also machines will be used in many ways, but the human working style can't replaced with any machines.
Automation has been the concept that always in the debates from the beginning of the century.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
replacing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for society and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
in everywhere. In fact, we need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the usage of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be limited
.

“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
industrial revolution everything is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Machines
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in the place of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
. This trend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
picking up at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the twentieth century and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the great improvements in the technology they became a part in the household.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Machines
like washing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
, dishwasher, oven, mixer they became a part of the life. In the past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to do all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hands
,
especially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
like washing, grinding etc.
Two consecutive dots
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after introduction of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
in household no one willing to those things by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
. Using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
in washing dishes and clothes may decrease the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efforts
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
decreasing the physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efforts
. This is the main complaint from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, they claim that depending on those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
too much may lead to laziness and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
physical problems.

We need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
to
be replaced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the safety,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efforts
, and time. Avoiding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hands
, will helpful to maintain physical strength.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Working
with our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hands
gives better results
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of our logical thinking, we know easy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
logic,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
are programmed
to do in a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
. We can't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
it works all time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it is better to put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efforts
at work.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
usage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
control and
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the dependency on them and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
style can't
The verb 'can't' requires base form of this verb: "replace"
replaced
with any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Many things that used to be done in the home by hands now being done by machines. Does the development bring more advantages or disadvantages. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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