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Many things can influence the academic achievement and emotional growth of a student Peers have more of an impact than teachers v.2

Many things can influence the academic achievement and emotional growth of a student Peers have more of an impact than teachers v. 2
It is a common belief that a student’s performance and emotional development experience more impact from educators than from their classmates. However, I maintain that one’s friends can present more powerful influences than their tutors because they can help them to complete their tasks effectively and become grown-up gradually by cooperating with them. To begin with, students will try to enhance themselves certainly that can lead to better performance in the intensely competitive atmosphere in classes. In other words, they have more stress on their horizons and scores in comparison with their peers. Indeed, rivalry with each other results in the overwhemingly fierce in classes, where adolescents study the same material at the same pace. According to the Oxford survey recently, the average of the highest coveted awards belongs to the colleges where establish more competition related to social and scientific knowledge. As a result, this activity will be conscientious and industrious because the huge desire to be the first ranking and to show off the wide knowledge can be aroused. On top of that, social communication at schools allows students to cultivate the team spirit and to get more significant skills in teamwork. To put in another way, throughout their studying period, adolescents can recognize clearly that social circle is indispensable to survive in the study environment. For example, it can help them to maintain that friendly bond, by teaching them how to be good listeners. And with a true friend by your side, know that your happiness will be doubled, and sadness will be halved. According to the Social club in America, 42% of children have a high moral standard go to school-environment more than the figure for studying at home. To sum up, classmates create scholarly competition and help students become more mature. For this reason, it is easy to see that adolescents will be more academically motivated and become more grown-up by socialising with others at school.
It is a common belief that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
performance and emotional development experience more impact from educators than from their classmates.
However
, I maintain that one’s friends can present more powerful influences than their tutors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to complete their tasks
effectively
and become grown-up
gradually
by cooperating with them.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will try to enhance themselves
certainly
that can lead to better performance in the
intensely
competitive atmosphere in classes.
In other words
, they have more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
on their horizons and scores
in comparison
with their peers.
Indeed
, rivalry with each other results in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
overwhemingly
fierce in classes, where adolescents study the same material at the same pace. According to the Oxford survey recently, the average of the highest coveted awards belongs to the colleges where establish more competition related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
and scientific knowledge.
As a result
, this activity will be conscientious and industrious
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the huge desire to be the
first
ranking and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off the wide knowledge can
be aroused
.

On top of that
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
communication at schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to cultivate the team spirit and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in teamwork. To put in another way, throughout their studying period, adolescents can recognize
clearly
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
circle is indispensable to survive in the study environment.
For example
, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to maintain that friendly bond, by teaching them how to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
listeners. And with a true friend by your side, know that your happiness will
be doubled
, and sadness will
be halved
. According to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
club in America, 42% of children have a high moral standard go to school-environment more than the figure for studying at home.

To sum up, classmates create
scholarly
competition and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
become more mature.
For this reason
, it is easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that adolescents will be more
academically
motivated and become more grown-up by
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
with others at school.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Many things can influence the academic achievement and emotional growth of a student Peers have more of an impact than teachers v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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