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Do you agree of disagree with the following statement? Parents are the best teachers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

Parents are the best teachers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
Children spend most of their childhood with their parents. Parents shape their children from the beginning of their children’s lives. They develop close emotional ties with their children and share their interests with them. They teach them values. Therefore, parents can be very important teachers in children’s lives, but they are not always the best teachers. Parents may be too close to their children emotionally. They may limit their children’s freedom in the name of safety. For example, an elementary school teacher may organize a trip to a place far from their hometown or take them to the camp for the purpose of education. However, parents don’t think this preferable, because such trip can expose their children to dangers. Although it is natural that parents are worried about their children, but this sometimes prevent them from growing up. Another problem is that parents sometimes expect their children’s interest to be the similar to their own. For example, one of my friends loves science, but his father loves economics. He was obedient to what his parents say, so he decided to major in economics as his father’s advice. However, he was not so interested in economics and was not able to concentrate on studying, and he failed some classes and repeated a school year. Finally, he couldn’t graduate from university. He again studied for university entrance exams and this time majored in science. As you can see from this example, children sometimes succumb to parental pressure and are forced to choose an undesirable choice. Finally, although many parents want to pass on their values to their children, values can change as the time goes. Some parents, especially older ones, cannot keep up with rapid social changes and scientific revolutions. For instance, nowadays there appear various tablets, like iPad, which are convenient for studying. They can be written on by electrical pencils and they are so light that digital textbooks are more convenient to carry around than paper textbooks are. However, some parents opposed using digital textbooks, thinking that students should use papers to study and should not use the same device as they use when they play games. They don’t understand or value the digital revolution. To sum up, although parents teach their children important lessons and moral values, sometimes they can prevent their children from growing up as I mentioned above. The best teacher can be different according to the situation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
spend most of their childhood with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
shape their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from the beginning of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. They develop close emotional ties with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and share their interests with them. They teach them values.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
teachers in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are not always the best teachers.

Parents may be too close to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
emotionally
. They may limit their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
freedom in the name of safety.
For example
, an elementary school teacher may organize a trip to a place far from their hometown or take them to the camp for the purpose of education.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this preferable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
such trip can expose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
. Although it is natural that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are worried
about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from growing up.

Another problem is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
interest to be the similar to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
For example
, one of my friends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
science,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
his father
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
economics. He was obedient to what his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
say,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he decided to major in economics as his father’s advice.
However
, he was not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
interested in economics and was not able to concentrate on studying, and he failed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
classes and repeated a school year.
Finally
, he couldn’t graduate from university. He again studied for university entrance exams and this time majored in science. As you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
from this example,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sometimes
succumb to parental pressure and
are forced
to choose an undesirable choice.

Finally
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
want to pass on their values to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, values can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
as the time goes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
especially
older ones, cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with rapid social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
and scientific revolutions.
For instance
, nowadays there appear various tablets, like iPad, which are convenient for studying. They can
be written
on by electrical
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
pencils and
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
light that digital textbooks are more convenient to carry around than paper textbooks are.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
opposed using digital textbooks, thinking that students should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
papers to study and should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the same device as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
when they play games. They don’t understand or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
the digital revolution.

To sum up, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
lessons and moral values,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sometimes
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from growing up as I mentioned above. The best teacher can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
according to the situation.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Parents are the best teachers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
401 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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