Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near yourcommunity. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influenceon your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain yourposition. v.1

A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near yourcommunity. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influenceon your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain yourposition. v. 1
When a company announces such a news, that it is wishing to build a large factory near my community, I would definitely support. I support this announcement with two reasons. One reason is it makes way for modernization. The second reason is it will eliminate unemployment in the nearby areas. I believe that there are both pros and cons, but in this fast growing world, I feel raising up of a factory nearby our community would help everyone to get modernized. I believe that with this modernization, the life becomes more easier. I will be giving specific examples to support the reasons stated above for raising up of a factory near our community. The first reason that I quoted is that it paves way for modernization. According to me, modernization is defined as making things happen faster using specialized equipment and tools. For example consider early days women who use to cook using fire wood. The food use to get prepared very late. But, nowadays, with the help of gas stoves and electric stoves, the preparation of food has become much easier and faster. These equipment are manufactured in factories. It can be any product manufacturing factory. If such a factory raises nearby our community, our people will get introduced with such a product and will try to make the life easier by using that product since it is quiet easily available. The next reason why I would support the raising up of a factory is, it will eliminate unemployment. Just a decade ago, many youngsters were suffering from unemployment. Today, due to the advent of software industries, the unemployment has came down. But still in some areas, the unemployment prevails. With the development of such a factory nearby our community, it will help people to provide employment and will make way for them to lead a happy life. I believe, a factory initially can give employments to minimum of one hundred people or more. As the company gains its fame, its people size will increase eventually and thus bring the unemployment count down. Thus, with the above two reasons and explanations, I would conclude saying that I would support the raising up of the factory. Because, it helps the people to live a modern, easier and faster life. It helps eliminating unemployment which is still prevailing in some areas. By the elimination of unemployment, it will help people to find their own bread and butter.
When a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
announces such a news, that it
The verb 'wishing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
is wishing
to build a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
near my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
, I would definitely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
this announcement with two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
. One
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
way for modernization. The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is it will eliminate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nearby
areas. I believe that there are both pros and cons,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
growing world, I feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raising
up of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nearby
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
everyone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
modernized. I believe that with this modernization, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
becomes more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easier
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
will be giving specific examples to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
stated above for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raising
up of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
near our community.

The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
that I quoted is that it paves way for modernization.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
, modernization
is defined
as making things happen faster using specialized equipment and tools.
For example
consider early days women who
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
cook using fire wood. The food
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
prepared
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
late.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, nowadays, with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of gas stoves and electric stoves, the preparation of food has become much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easier
and faster.
Did you mean "this equipment" or "These equipments"?
These equipment
are manufactured
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
. It can be any product manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
. If such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
raises
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nearby
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
introduced with such a product and will try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easier
by using that product since it is quiet
easily
available.

The
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why I would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raising
up of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
is, it will eliminate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
a decade ago,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youngsters were suffering from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, due to the advent of software industries, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
has
Use past participle here: "come".
came
down.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
still
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
prevails. With the development of such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nearby
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
, it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to provide employment and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
way for them to lead a happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. I believe, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
initially
can give employments to minimum of one hundred
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
or more. As the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
gains its fame, its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
size will increase
eventually
and
thus
bring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
count down.

Thus
, with the above two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
and explanations, I would conclude saying that I would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raising
up of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a modern,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easier
and faster
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
The verb 'helps' is used with an infinitive: "to eliminate" or "eliminate".
eliminating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
which is
still
prevailing in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas. By the elimination of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployment
, it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to find their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
bread and butter.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
62Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near yourcommunity. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influenceon your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain yourposition. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
406 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts