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Many students have to live with roommates while going to school or university. What are some of the important qualities of a good roommate? v.4

Many students have to live with roommates while going to school or university. What are some of the important qualities of a good roommate? v. 4
When I was a student at a Russian University I lived with my friend Tonia. Frankly speaking, she was not my friend at first. I mean that we meet when we were in our first year at university. She was looking for a place to live and I offered her to stay at my place because I lived alone and it was quite expensive for me at that time. I must confess that I never felt regret about my decision because Tonia turned out to be a great roommate. Moreover, we became friends and now after two years from my graduation, we still call each other, care about each other and chat through the Internet. Unfortunately, now we live in different cities even in different countries, but I hope our friendship will continue. In this essay, I will list the main qualities of a good roommate which from my point of view are essential. Furthermore, I must inform that Tonia possesses all these qualities and I am proud to have such a great friend. First of all, a roommate must be kind and generous. It is easier to deal with a person who is kind and ready to offer a hand. For example, kindness and understanding are essential qualities if one of them got ill. Secondly, roommates must have common interests because it will help them to find more subjects to discuss. I think that when people have nothing to talk about they should not live together because it will be difficult for both of them. In addition, a roommate must be funny but at the same time, she or he must be attentive and understanding. Selfishness is not a good quality for a roommate because people who live together should be attentive to each other's feelings and be ready to sacrifice their time to each other. In short, I think that roommates must be friends because friendship means understanding and sympathy.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
I was a student at a Russian University I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
Tonia.
Frankly
speaking, she was not my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
at
first
. I mean that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
when we were in our
first
year at university. She was looking for a place to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
and I offered her to stay at my place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
alone and it was quite expensive for me at that time. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
confess that I never felt regret about my decision
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Tonia turned out to be a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roommate
.
Moreover
, we became
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
after two years from my graduation, we
still
call each other, care about each other and chat through the Internet. Unfortunately,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cities even in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I hope our friendship will continue.

In this essay, I will list the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualities
of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roommate
which from my point of view are essential.
Furthermore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
inform that Tonia possesses all these
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
qualities and
I am proud to have such a great friend.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roommate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be kind and generous. It is easier to deal with a person who is kind and ready to offer a hand.
For example
, kindness and understanding are essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualities
if one of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
ill.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roommates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have common interests
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will
In informal texts, 'to' is not necessary. Do you mean "help them find"?
help them to find
more subjects to discuss. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have nothing to talk about they should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
together
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will be difficult for both of them.
In addition
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roommate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
funny
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same time, she or he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be attentive and understanding. Selfishness is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roommate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
together should be attentive to each other's feelings and be ready to sacrifice their time to each other.

In short, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roommates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
friendship means understanding and sympathy.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Many students have to live with roommates while going to school or university. What are some of the important qualities of a good roommate? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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