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many students find it difficult to concentrate at school. what are the reasons? What could be done v.1

many students find it difficult to concentrate at school. what are the reasons? What could be done v. 1
There is a growing concern over the fact that a great number of students have difficulty in staying focused during class. Various factors can be attributed to the increasing popularity of this trend, and several solutions must be applied to ressolve this acute emergent problem. To begin with, lack of concentration during school hours can be attributable to two principal reasons. First and foremost, thedigital attraction has always been a compelling culprit, sparking much of students' interest. Since most students possess digital devices which include the Internet access, they are able to use them with the aim of being absorbed in schooling-unrelated activities, fuctioning as texting or playing games. The overuse of electronic devices would consequently would prevent students from comprehending the teacher' s instruction. Moreover, the background roar level generated in classrooms also remarkably contributed to the deterioration of students' attention. The noise, which may come from the outsides building construction or reverberation, has soared the noise level in the classroom. Therefore, students are not capable of listening to the teachers' voice attentively, which acts as a deterrent to students' academic performances. Still, steps must be taken to overcome this thorny problem. Firstly, banning the use of state- of - the- art technology during classes may enable students to be focused and study more adequately at school. In others words, weren't they be directed to check their smartphones continuously, students would be able to pay more attention to the lessons. In addition, constructive improvement in classes should be applied to mitigate to background cacophony. By installing sound insulation materials such as reducing glass, it enables to restrain the outside noise from approaching to class, hence, create a peaceful learning environment for students. In conclusion, the use of electronic devices and extreme noise level are 2 principle factors leading to the lack of concentration among students. Therefore, the aforementioned measures should be adopted to address the modern-day problem.
There is a growing concern over the fact that a great number of
students
have difficulty in staying focused during
class
. Various factors can
be attributed
to the increasing popularity of this trend, and several solutions
must
be applied
to
ressolve
this acute emergent problem.

To
begin
with, lack of concentration during school hours can be attributable to two principal reasons.
First
and foremost,
thedigital
attraction has always been a compelling culprit, sparking much of students' interest. Since most
students
possess digital devices which include the Internet access, they are able to
use
them with the aim of
being absorbed
in schooling-unrelated activities,
fuctioning
as texting or playing games. The overuse of electronic devices would
consequently
would
prevent
students
from comprehending the teacher' s instruction.
Moreover
, the background roar level generated in classrooms
also
remarkably
contributed to the deterioration of students' attention. The
noise
, which may
come
from the outsides building construction or reverberation, has soared the
noise
level in the classroom.
Therefore
,
students
are not capable of listening to the teachers' voice
attentively
, which acts as a deterrent to students' academic performances.

Still
, steps
must
be taken
to overcome this thorny problem.
Firstly
, banning the
use
of state- of
-
the- art technology during
classes
may enable
students
to
be focused
and study more
adequately
at school. In others words, weren't they
be directed
to
check
their smartphones
continuously
,
students
would be able to pay more attention to the lessons.
In addition
, constructive improvement in
classes
should
be applied
to mitigate to background cacophony. By installing sound insulation materials such as reducing glass, it enables to restrain the outside
noise
from approaching to
class
,
hence
, create a peaceful learning environment for students.

In conclusion
, the
use
of electronic devices and extreme
noise
level are 2 principle factors leading to the lack of concentration among
students
.
Therefore
, the aforementioned measures should
be adopted
to address the modern-day problem.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay many students find it difficult to concentrate at school. what are the reasons? What could be done v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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