Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many students find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school. What are the reasons? What could be done? Write an essay giving reasons for your answer and including any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words. v.3

Many students find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school. What are the reasons? What could be done? Write an essay giving reasons for your answer and including any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v. 3
It is undeniable that, nowadays, many students have difficulties in focusing on their lessons at school. This essay will first discuss some significant reasons, and then give the possible solutions to minimize the problem. There are several reasons for the distraction of students. The foremost issue that impact on students currently is the overused electronic devices. Firstly, it is a waste of time to spend time on surfing the internet for no reason on phones. This activity will decrease time which is used for reviewing and learning at home. Gradually, it forms a habit, and students may be addicted to social media, games, etc. Therefore, they will lose their interest in accumulate knowledge. Secondly, using too many of these devices also affect their health. Pupils tend to stay up late for playing games, so in the next morning, they will feel drowsy, and cannot stay focused. For instance, my close friend, H, is addicted to films for a long time and she is really a night owl. As a result, she always feels tired and does not pay attention to the teacher. She never does home assignments and often gets low marks. Since being her close friend, I have tried my best to help her by motivate her to study more, give advice and even teach her. Due to the noticeable influences above, effective solutions have to be measured to resolve this problem. Both parents and teachers have to take steps to reduce the phenomenon. First of all, the guardians have to rearrange the time their children spend on computers. Secondly, they should stimulate kids to go outside for a walk or to play sports. To the teachers, they should make rules for those who do not do homework or kind of that, also, they can prepare gifts for good students. In addition, teachers should adjust the teaching method, making their lectures become more interesting. For example, they can add more images, illustrations on the lessons and try to be inspired teachers. These ways may make the class hours not being tedious anymore. To conclude, the strong effects of the hi-tech devices make students distract at school. Parents and schools have to solve this issue immediately.
It is undeniable that, nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have difficulties in focusing on their lessons at school. This essay will
first
discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
significant reasons, and then give the possible solutions to minimize the problem.

There are several reasons for the distraction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. The foremost issue that impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
currently
is the overused electronic devices.
Firstly
, it is a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on surfing the internet for no reason on phones. This activity will decrease
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for reviewing and learning at home.
Gradually
, it forms a habit, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may
be addicted
to social media, games, etc.
Therefore
, they will lose their interest in accumulate knowledge.
Secondly
, using too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of these devices
also
affect their health. Pupils tend to stay up late for playing games,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
in the
next
morning, they will feel drowsy, and cannot stay focused.
For instance
, my close friend, H,
is addicted
to films for a long
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
time and
she is
really
a night owl.
As a result
, she always feels tired and does not pay attention to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
. She never does home assignments and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
low marks. Since being her close friend, I have tried my best to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
her by motivate her to study more, give advice and even teach her.

Due to the noticeable influences above, effective solutions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be measured
to resolve this problem. Both parents and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take steps to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the phenomenon.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the guardians
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
rearrange the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
their children spend on computers.
Secondly
, they should stimulate kids to go outside for a walk or to play sports. To the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
, they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
for those who do not do homework or kind of that,
also
, they can prepare gifts for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
should adjust the teaching method, making their lectures become more interesting.
For example
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
more images, illustrations on the lessons and try to
be inspired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. These ways may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
hours not being tedious anymore.

To conclude
, the strong effects of the hi-tech devices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
distract at school. Parents and schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
solve this issue immediately.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
To learn a language is to have one more window from which to look at the world.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Many students find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school. What are the reasons? What could be done? Write an essay giving reasons for your answer and including any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
366 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts