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Many students decide to further their study abroad. What are the benefits and drawbacks of studying abroad? v.3

Many students decide to further their study abroad. What are the benefits and drawbacks of studying abroad? v. 3
It must be admitted that education is the first route a student take to build his future. Some students prefer to pursue their study overseas while others want to further their study in their countries. Undoubtedly, studying abroad has its advantages and disadvantages. For many reasons, which will be discussed in this essay, I strongly believe that the advantages are far more than the disadvantages. One advantage of studying abroad is mingling with the different types of the cultures and customs of that country. To illustrate, when a student travels abroad for study, he will be completely exposed to positive traditions and cultures of such people. Consequently, he will get useful benefits from such customs when he returns to his homeland. One example for that is my friend who, before one year, travelled to a country for the purpose of the study. There, he acquired many positive things from that country such as respect of regulations and the kind treatment of people. Therefore, when he came back to his country, his family was immensely affected by his new positive merits to the point that it begins to apply them. Another advantage of studying overseas is the massive benefits a student gets in his major. In fact, he will encounter the elite professors and academics from which he will acquire a good knowledge and experience in his field. Accordingly, the student will spend less time studying his major due to those highly educated professors. Hence, it can be said that such student will be highly respected by his people when he returns to his home. Moreover, his immense knowledge and experience will dramatically contribute to the growth and development of his country. From the other side, it can be found that travelling abroad has minor negative effects on the students; some of which are getting involved in unethical activities or abusing drugs. Those bad things might make the students deviate from their original morals and traditions. However, this mainly depends on the student himself. If he follows these bad routes, he will not concentrate on his study anymore. Therefore, he will acquire the bad habits instead of his golden goal, namely study. Also, his future and previous aspirations will be utterly lost. In conclusion, studying abroad has its pros and cons. However, as I stated above, that the advantages are the prominent feature. Subsequently, every student, if intended to study overseas, should pick out the good and beneficial merits from that country and extremely abstain from the ugly habits or customs. Accordingly, will get a multicultural educated and prosperous generation of which we will greatly proud.
It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be admitted
that education is the
first
route a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
take to build his future.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
prefer to pursue their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
overseas while others want to
further
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Undoubtedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
has its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
and disadvantages. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons, which will
be discussed
in this essay, I
strongly
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
are far more than the disadvantages.

One
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
is mingling with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of the cultures and customs of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. To illustrate, when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
travels
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
, he will be completely exposed to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
traditions and cultures of such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Consequently
, he will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
useful benefits from such customs when he returns to his homeland. One example for
that is
my friend who,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
one year, travelled to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for the purpose of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. There, he acquired
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
things from that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
such as respect of regulations and the kind treatment of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Therefore
, when he came back to his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, his family was
immensely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by his new
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
merits to the point that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
to apply them.

Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
overseas is the massive benefits a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
in his major. In fact, he will encounter the elite professors and academics from which he will acquire a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
knowledge and experience in his field.
Accordingly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
will spend less time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
his major due to those
highly
educated professors.
Hence
, it can
be said
that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
will be
highly
respected by his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
when he returns to his home.
Moreover
, his immense knowledge and experience will
dramatically
contribute to the growth and development of his country.

From the other side, it can
be found
that travelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
has minor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of which are getting involved in unethical activities or abusing drugs. Those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
things might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
deviate from their original morals and traditions.
However
, this
mainly
depends on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
himself. If he follows these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
routes, he will not concentrate on his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
anymore.
Therefore
, he will acquire the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits
instead
of his golden goal,
namely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
.
Also
, his future and previous aspirations will be
utterly
lost.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
has its pros and cons.
However
, as I stated above, that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
are the prominent feature.
Subsequently
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
, if intended to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
overseas, should pick out the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and beneficial merits from that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and
extremely
abstain from the ugly habits or customs.
Accordingly
, will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a multicultural educated and prosperous generation of which we will
greatly
proud.
20Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Many students decide to further their study abroad. What are the benefits and drawbacks of studying abroad? v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
435 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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