Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The government should make more efforts to promote alternative sources of energy. v.2

The government should make more efforts to promote alternative sources of energy. v. 2
Many people believe that the government should emphasise more on alternative energies these days. To a certain point, I would agree with that, but the government should also have measurable calculation before they shift the energy resources. For a number of reasons, it is believed that the government should have extensive promotions on alternative sources of energy. Firstly, it is a fact that many new energy resources are friendlier to the environment rather than the existing sources of energy. For example, the usage of the solar panel system is booming these days due to they are not producing any carbon monoxide. Secondly, the most common sources of energy that people use nowadays are not renewable. For example, most countries use oil, gas and coal as their sources of energy currently, and we all know that these energies are limited. As millions of people are using these sources every day, it will run out in the future. We should be concerned with how the future generation will get their sources of energies by thinking of alternative resources. On the other hand, before the government promotes these alternative energies, they must have a well-prepared feasibility study. They must ensure that those alternative sources of energy are safe for the environment. For instance, when the authority decides to use a nuclear reactor as a replacement of a diesel electric plant, they must ensure that it is safe. Any leakage from the plant would cause a disaster for the whole nation, just like in the case of the Chernobyl or Fukushima plants. And then the government should also think how it will impact the unemployment rate. When new alternative energies are promoted, it means that there is a risk that the demand of existing energies will be reduced. Consequently, large energy companies such as Chevron or Shell will reduce their employees. The government should have properly anticipated, plan and have the right solution for it. In conclusion, to a certain extent, I would agree that the government should put more emphasis on new alternative energy these days, but it should also be supported with measurable and feasible studies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
Possible spelling mistake. 'emphasise' is British English.
emphasise
more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energies
these days. To a certain point, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
also
have measurable calculation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they shift the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
resources.

For a number of reasons, it
is believed
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should have extensive promotions on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
.
Firstly
, it is a fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
resources are friendlier to the environment
rather
than the existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
.
For example
, the usage of the solar panel system is booming these days due to they are not producing any carbon monoxide.
Secondly
, the most common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
nowadays are not renewable.
For example
, most countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
oil, gas and coal as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
currently
, and we all know that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energies
are limited
. As millions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are using these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
every day, it will run out in the future. We should
be concerned
with how the future generation will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energies
by thinking of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
resources.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
promotes these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energies
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have a well-prepared feasibility study. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
ensure that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
are safe for the environment.
For instance
, when the authority decides to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a nuclear reactor as a replacement of a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
diesel electric
plant, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
ensure that it is safe. Any leakage from the plant would cause a disaster for the whole nation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like in the case of the Chernobyl or Fukushima plants. And then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
how it will impact the unemployment rate. When new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energies
are promoted
, it means that there is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
that the demand of existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energies
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.
Consequently
, large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
such as Chevron or Shell will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their employees. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should have
properly
anticipated, plan and have the right solution for it.

In conclusion
, to a certain extent, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should put more emphasis on new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
these days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it should
also
be supported
with measurable and feasible studies.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay The government should make more efforts to promote alternative sources of energy. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
354 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts