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Many sports players advertised sport-related products. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this? v.2

Many sports players advertised sport-related products. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this? v. 2
In the contemporary era, advertising has become a crucial aspect of every business. Many prominent sport athletes promote various sport-related products. There are a couple of benefits of this phenomenon such as increase of sale and children involving in an active lifestyle, however, there are few drawbacks associate with this way of publishing products. To embark, one of the most important benefit of using sports person in an advertisement for the product is, it will increase its volume in public. Many people purchase products that are endorsed by their favorite sports athletes, which helps to increase sales, thereby generating a large volume of sales. For instance, MRF is endorsed by famous Indian personality, Sachin Tendulkar, which has assist the company to increase its sale of product by 25% annually. Players in international sports have a huge fan following, hence, they can be used not only as an ambassador for the firm but also as a source of marketing. Therefore, the products will reach every citizen very fast and increase the business outcomes. Furthermore, another advantage of brands getting endorsed by well-known sportspeople is it encourage children to indulge in an active lifestyle. Sports star normally promote products by playing their sports or showcasing their skills, which influence children to imitate or learn the same skills by playing the desired games, therefore, avoiding a sedentary lifestyle. Overall, its appeals to youths to adopt an active and a healthy lifestyle. On the other hand, one problem that can associate by famous sports star advertising sports-related products is it put pressure on parents. Children force their guardians to purchase the desired products by watching their favorite stats endorsing the same. To illustrate this, the majority of Indian parents complained that they need to spend 10% of their unplanned expenses on sports-related products in order to satisfy their children’s demand. To recapitulate, brands getting publicized by popular sports personalities can result in benefits such as good sale volume for company and active lifestyle for youth in society, but it put forceful pressure on parents to buy the desired products.
In the contemporary era, advertising has become a crucial aspect of every business.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
prominent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
athletes promote various sport-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. There are a couple of benefits of this phenomenon such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
involving in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
active
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
,
however
, there are few drawbacks associate with this way of publishing products.

To embark, one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
benefit of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
person in an advertisement for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is, it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
its volume in public.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that
are endorsed
by their favorite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
athletes, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
, thereby generating a large volume of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
.
For instance
, MRF
is endorsed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Indian personality,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sachin
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tendulkar
, which has
Use past participle here: "assisted".
assist
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
by 25%
annually
. Players in international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
have a huge fan following,
hence
, they can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
as an ambassador for the firm
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
as a source of marketing.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
will reach every citizen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
the business outcomes.

Furthermore
, another advantage of brands getting endorsed by well-known sportspeople is it encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to indulge in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
active
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
star
normally
promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
by playing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
or showcasing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, which influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to imitate or learn the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
by playing the desired games,
therefore
, avoiding a sedentary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
.
Overall
, its appeals to youths to adopt an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
active
and a healthy lifestyle.

On the other hand
, one problem that can associate by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
star advertising sports-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
is it put pressure on parents.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
force their guardians to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the desired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
by watching their favorite stats endorsing the same. To illustrate this, the majority of Indian parents complained that they need to spend 10% of their unplanned expenses on sports-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in order to satisfy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
demand.

To recapitulate, brands getting publicized by popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
personalities can result in benefits such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
volume for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
active
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
for youth in society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it put forceful pressure on parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the desired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Many sports players advertised sport-related products. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
345 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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