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Many schools ask students to evaluate their teachers. Do you think it is a good idea? Give reasons and details to support your idea. v.1

Many schools ask students to evaluate their teachers. Do you think it is a good idea? Give reasons and details to support your idea. v. 1
Nowadays, there has been a rising concern about the security when people are staying at home or going out. In this essay, I will outline some reasons causing people worry about their safety day by day as well as the ways to solve these problems. One of the main reasons is that there are more and more cases of burglary or vandalism. It happens more often, especially when people spend their holidays and leave their house unmanned. After coming back, they find out that they have lost their valuable belongings at home or their properties have been damaged. Beside that, due to the significant increase of private transportation recently, the roads are more condensed with cars or motorbikes leading to accidents occurring more frequently than ever before. Many accidents that lead to serious injuries or fatalities of travellers have been observed. However, there are several solutions to help people deal with these problems. Firstly, authorities should strengthen the security system by deploying more officers to the habitat areas as well as installing more CCTVs for surveillance footage. Levelling education and reducing unemployment rate also assist to reduce crimes remarkably. Secondly, public transportation needs to develop more to meet the daily demand so that people freely switch to use buses or trains which are the safest means of transportation. The less private transportation on the street, the fewer accidents happen. In conclusion, even though many problems make people not feel safe in their own residence or in public, there are a number of possible solutions to counteract these problems.
Nowadays, there has been a rising concern about the security when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are staying at home or going out. In this essay, I will outline
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons causing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
worry about their safety day by day
as well
as the ways to solve these problems.

One of the main reasons is that there are more and more cases of burglary or vandalism. It happens more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
,
especially
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend their holidays and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
unmanned. After coming back, they find out that they have lost their valuable belongings at home or their properties have
been damaged
. Beside that, due to the significant increase of private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
recently, the roads are more condensed with cars or motorbikes leading to accidents occurring more
frequently
than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
accidents that lead to serious injuries or fatalities of
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
have
been observed
.

However
, there are several solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
deal with these problems.
Firstly
, authorities should strengthen the security system by deploying more officers to the habitat areas
as well
as installing more
Possible spelling mistake found.
CCTVs
for surveillance footage. Levelling education and reducing unemployment rate
also
assist to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
crimes
remarkably
.
Secondly
, public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
needs to develop more to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the daily demand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
freely
switch to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
buses or trains which are the safest means of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
. The less private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
on the street, the fewer accidents happen.

In conclusion
,
even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not feel safe in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
residence or in public, there are a number of possible solutions to counteract these problems.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Many schools ask students to evaluate their teachers. Do you think it is a good idea? Give reasons and details to support your idea. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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