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Many people worried about cyber crime cause and solution v.1

Many people worried about cyber crime cause and solution v. 1
Cyber crime has been escalating rapidly and many people were suffering with problems of loss of personnel data and corruption of business details and agendas. However, in this essay, explain about some detrimental effects of this crime and reckon the possible solutions to tackle this issue. Mainly, the most major problem associated with the online crime that, privacy issues and misusing the professional descriptions which may solute by stringent software updates and legislation. Personnel and social identity theft would be the result of unauthorized entry of virus and malware product by the hackers, which may lead to deleterious effect on individual, family, and society. In brief, people could have faced the problem with the personnel information's namely, address, phone numbers, bank details, accounts, and files by the hackers and the challengers. This would make problems between the relationships, workplace, companies and even presumably countries. For instance, a big issue with USA election by the cybercrime associated with hacking and attacking huge developments and secrets of American parliament. Moreover, by this impact, people have issues with physically and psychologically, such as, misusing photos, and identities, bank savings and so on. For example, many young men and female students would have faced issues with this crime in order to misusing photos from social media, anonymous provocative calls and transferring moneys from accounts. However, government should legislate over such crimes in terms of sentence, punishments, whereas, software and online marketers would enforce excellent operating system and preventive measures irrespective of the face and gender. Firstly, an appropriate rules and regulations, agreement, license, must be followed by government officials. Identify the malware groups, hackers, and constitution over such threats and confining the problems in future. Secondly, online companies and programmers would develop prominent tools to identify the hackers to a large extent. Meanwhile, instruct the customers in technical prevention's like changing password intermittent, make strong codes with intricacy. Furthermore, inform to the dealers about privacy issues or noticed threats to the authority as early as possible like an authority of India tackled a hacker by the innovative operating system recently by this method. To encapsulate, an online hacking and theft would be a rising phenomenon, this may lead to crisis in personnel, social and national controversy. Although, there were many choices to be prevented and mitigate cyber case by the united help of the ministry and online dealers and software.
Cyber
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
has been escalating
rapidly
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were suffering with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of loss of personnel data and corruption of business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
and agendas.
However
, in this essay,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
detrimental effects of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and reckon the possible solutions to tackle this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
.
Mainly
, the most major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
associated with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
that, privacy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
and misusing the professional descriptions which may solute by stringent software updates and legislation.

Personnel and social identity theft would be the result of unauthorized entry of virus and malware product by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hackers
, which may lead to deleterious effect on individual, family, and society.
In brief
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could have faced the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
with the personnel information's
namely
, address, phone numbers, bank
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, accounts, and files by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hackers
and the challengers. This would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
between the relationships, workplace,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and even presumably countries.
For instance
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
with USA election by the cybercrime associated with hacking and attacking huge developments and secrets of American parliament.
Moreover
, by this impact,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
with
physically
and
psychologically
, such as, misusing photos, and identities, bank savings and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and female students would have faced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in order to misusing photos from social media, anonymous provocative calls and transferring moneys from accounts.

However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should legislate over such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in terms of sentence, punishments, whereas, software and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
marketers would enforce excellent operating system and preventive measures irrespective of the face and gender.
Firstly
, an appropriate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations, agreement, license,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be followed
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
officials. Identify the malware groups,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hackers
, and constitution over such threats and confining the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and programmers would develop prominent tools to identify the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hackers
to a large extent. Meanwhile, instruct the customers in technical prevention's like changing password intermittent,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
strong codes with intricacy.
Furthermore
, inform to the dealers about privacy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
or noticed threats to the authority as early as possible
Comparison is written 'as possible "as"'.
like
an authority of India tackled a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hacker
by the innovative operating system recently by this method.

To encapsulate, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
hacking and theft would be a rising phenomenon, this may lead to crisis in personnel, social and national controversy. Although, there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
choices to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
and mitigate cyber case by the united
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the ministry and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
dealers and software.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people worried about cyber crime cause and solution v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
396 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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