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Many people today worried about cyber crime what is cause and suggest solution v.1

Many people today worried about cyber crime what is cause and suggest solution v. 1
Many people today are worried about cybercrime’ such as hacking and identity theft. What problems does cybercrime’ cause, and what solutions can you suggest for ordinary people and businesses to take? Cybercrime is a cause of widespread concern today as many people use technology to store and transmit sensitive data. This essay will highlight several key issues related to this kind of crime as well as recommended some practical solutions to cope with them. There are some problems stemming from this phenomenon. Perhaps the worst issue is the financial impact. If someone has his or her bank account emptied or false credit lines created under their name, they are potentially liable for large sums of money. Even if they can avoid the consequences, their bank or finance company has to cover the losses, which can damage their performance. Another problem is that these stolen funds can be used to subsidize crimes such as drug distribution or even terrorism. To be more specific, once the money enters the criminal networks, people have no way of knowing how it will be used. Last but not least, there are the problems of stress and anxiety caused to the innocent victims of these crimes, which might last for many months or even years. It leads to a sense of insecurity as an unavoidable result. Some measures should be taken to alleviate this trend. Firstly, probably the most effective measure is to improve personal security, ranging from passwords to the shredding of documents. This denies the criminals the raw materials to work with. Secondly, the authorities should raise awareness of the risks among the elderly or the very young people – two group who are often specifically targeted – through publicity and public education. However, it is finance companies who can make the greatest contribution, by increasing their security and detection systems. In conclusion, the problems, both financial and social, are identified and the solutions should involve coordinated action by individuals, corporations and the state.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are worried
about cybercrime’ such as hacking and identity theft. What
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
does cybercrime’ cause, and what solutions can you suggest for ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and businesses to take?

Cybercrime is a cause of widespread concern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
technology to store and transmit sensitive data. This essay will highlight several key issues related to this kind of crime
as well
as recommended
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
practical solutions to cope with them.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
stemming from this phenomenon. Perhaps the worst issue is the financial impact. If someone has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
bank account emptied or false credit lines created under their name, they are
potentially
liable for large sums of money. Even if they can avoid the consequences, their bank or finance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
cover the losses, which can damage their performance. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is that these stolen funds can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to subsidize crimes such as drug distribution or even terrorism. To be more specific, once the money enters the criminal networks,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have no way of knowing how it will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, there are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and anxiety caused to the innocent victims of these crimes, which might last for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
months or even years. It leads to a sense of insecurity as an unavoidable result.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
measures should
be taken
to alleviate this trend.
Firstly
,
probably
the most effective measure is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
personal security, ranging from passwords to the shredding of documents. This denies the criminals the raw materials to work with.
Secondly
, the authorities should raise awareness of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
among the elderly or the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
two group who are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
specifically
targeted
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
through publicity and public education.
However
, it is finance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
who can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the greatest contribution, by increasing their security and detection systems.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, both financial and social,
are identified
and the solutions should involve coordinated action by individuals, corporations and the state.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people today worried about cyber crime what is cause and suggest solution v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
330 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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