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In many places, new homes are needed, but only spaces available for building them in the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this? v.1

Housing is among the basic requirements of humans. However, due to population explosion, there is a limited space available to build these homes in cities. Moreover, the only place where these homes could be built is in the countryside. Some sociologists argue that it is vital to protect the countryside and one should not build new homes in rural areas. In my opinion, I think rural areas need to be equally developed like cities and one should consider building homes in the countryside. To begin with, people are migrating to cities for better lifestyle due to which population in the countryside is declining. The facilities available in cities are not available in rural areas due to which people build homes in cities and settle there. However, increase in demand for land to build homes in cities results in problems related to finding land. One should consider relocating to the countryside in order to solve this problem. Additionally, it will welcome new opportunities in the countryside. To illustrate this, consider a doctor relocating to the countryside, it will bring vital medical facilities and improve the health of residents in the countryside. Furthermore, living in the countryside has certain health benefits as the pollution is less. People grow healthier due to the fresh air from the trees. Moreover, the food in the countryside is more nutritious and of good quality. One can consider settling down in the countryside and enjoy the greenery it offers. On the other hand, government should lay strict rules to protect the countryside from pollution and other hazards. Authorities should take certain measures to develop the countryside like cities but still retain its natural beauty. In conclusion, one could consider building a home in the countryside due to various benefits it offers. However, strict rules to protect the countryside should be enforced.
Housing is among the basic requirements of humans.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to population explosion, there is a limited space available to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Moreover
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
place where these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
could
be built
is in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
sociologists argue that it is vital to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
and one should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
in rural areas. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
rural areas need to be
equally
developed like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and one should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consider
building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
in the countryside.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are migrating to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
for better lifestyle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to which population in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
is declining. The facilities available in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are not available in rural areas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and settle there.
However
, increase in demand for land to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
results in problems related to finding land. One should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consider
relocating to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
in order to solve this problem.
Additionally
, it will welcome new opportunities in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
. To illustrate this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consider
a doctor relocating to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
, it will bring vital medical facilities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the health of residents in the countryside.

Furthermore
, living in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
has certain health benefits as the pollution is less.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
grow healthier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the fresh air from the trees.
Moreover
, the food in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
is more nutritious and of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality. One can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consider
settling down in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
and enjoy the greenery it offers.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should lay strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
from pollution and other hazards. Authorities should take certain measures to develop the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
retain its natural beauty.

In conclusion
, one could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consider
building a home in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to various benefits it offers.
However
, strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
should
be enforced
.
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If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
304 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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