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Many people today worried about cyber crime. Cause and solution discuss. v.1

Many people today worried about cyber crime. Cause and solution discuss. v. 1
cyber cases are increasing day by day with utilising technology more and more. These are directly or indirectly focus on money. However, this problem has its own solution which are elaborated in the present assay. Personnel and social identity theft would be the result of unauthorized entry of virus and malware product by the hackers, which may lead to deleterious effect on individual, family, and society. In brief, people could have facing the problem with the personnel information's namely, address, phone numbers, bank details, accounts, and files by the hackers and the challengers. This would make problems between the relationships, work place, companies and even presumably countries. For instance, a big issue with USA election by the cyber crime associated with hacking and attacking huge developments and secrets of American parliament. Moreover, by this impact, people have issues with physically and psychologically such as, misusing photos, and identities, bank savings and so on. For example, many young men and female students would have facing issues with this crime in order to misusing photos from social medias, anonymous provocative calls and transferring moneys from accounts. However, government should legislate over such crimes in terms of sentence, punishments, whereas, software and online marketers would enforce good software and preventive measures irrespective of face and gender. Firstly, an appropriate rules and regulations, agreement license, must be followed by government officials. Identify the malware groups, hackers, and constitution over such threats and confining the problems in future. Secondly, online companies and software programmers would develop prominent software to identify the hackers to large extent. Meanwhile, instruct the customers to technical prevention's like changing password intermittent, make strong codes with intricacy. Furthermore, inform to the dealers about privacy issues or noticed threats to the authority as early as possible like a government of India tackled a hacker by the innovative software recently by this method. To sum up, online hacking and theft would be a rising phenomenon, this may lead to crisis in personnel, social and national controversy. Although, there were many choices to be prevent and mitigate cyber crime by the united help of government and online dealers and software
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
cyber
cases are increasing day by day with
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilising' is British English.
utilising
technology more and more. These are
directly
or
indirectly
focus on money.
However
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
solution which
are elaborated
in the present assay.

Personnel and social identity theft would be the result of unauthorized entry of virus and malware product by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hackers
, which may lead to deleterious effect on individual, family, and society.
In brief
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could have facing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
with the personnel information's
namely
, address, phone numbers, bank
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, accounts, and files by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hackers
and the challengers. This would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
between the relationships, work place,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and even presumably countries.
For instance
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
with USA election by the cyber
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
associated with hacking and attacking huge developments and secrets of American parliament.
Moreover
, by this impact,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
with
physically
and
psychologically
such as, misusing photos, and identities, bank savings and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and female students would have facing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in order to misusing photos from social medias, anonymous provocative calls and transferring moneys from accounts.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should legislate over such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in terms of sentence, punishments, whereas,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
software
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
marketers would enforce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
software
and preventive measures irrespective of face and gender.
Firstly
, an appropriate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations, agreement license,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be followed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
officials. Identify the malware groups,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hackers
, and constitution over such threats and confining the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
software
programmers would develop prominent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
software
to identify the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hackers
to large extent. Meanwhile, instruct the customers to technical prevention's like changing password intermittent,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
strong codes with intricacy.
Furthermore
, inform to the dealers about privacy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
or noticed threats to the authority as early as possible
Comparison is written 'as possible "as"'.
like
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
of India tackled a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hacker
by the innovative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
software
recently by this method.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
hacking and theft would be a rising phenomenon, this may lead to crisis in personnel, social and national controversy. Although, there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
choices to be
Consider using a past participle here: "prevented".
prevent
and mitigate cyber
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
by the united
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
dealers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
software
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay Many people today worried about cyber crime. Cause and solution discuss. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
355 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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