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Many people use distance-learning programmes (study material, post, TV, the Internet, etc. ) to study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefits of attending college or university. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.1

Many people use distance-learning programmes (study material, post, TV, the Internet, etc. ) to study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefits of attending college or university. with this opinion? v. 1
Nowadays, an increasing number of people are concerned about two kinds of learning methods. However, whether we should study through distance-learning programmes or go to university, college has caused heated debate. In my view, the traditional method is apparently more beneficial. First, it is obvious that universities or colleges help students gain more essential abilities rather than acquiring knowledge. This is because, with the guidance of different brilliant professors, learners also get practical and professional skills such as problem solving, critical thinking, which are crucial for becoming qualified employees. So, attending universities are much more helpful for students to develop different competences. Moreover, universities offer students a golden chance to augment their relationship. For example, clubs play an indispensable role in every university community. By joining a club, students can make more friends and can even make valuable practical experience. This is not to say that distance-learning method is useless. This state-of-the-art educational model enables learners to study any discipline without wasting time to get into a long-distance tertiary school. But they definitely will not gain as many benefits as the one choosing universities. In conclusion, studying in universities brings more advantages than distance-learning. Meanwhile, we should not neglect the needs of some people to give suitable courses in the distance-learning programmes. Only doing so can promote student’s intellectual, physical and emotional development.
Nowadays, an increasing number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are concerned
about two kinds of learning methods.
However
, whether we should study through distance-learning
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
or go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, college has caused heated debate. In my view, the traditional method is
apparently
more beneficial.

First
, it is obvious that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
or colleges
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
gain more essential abilities
rather
than acquiring knowledge. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, with the guidance of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
brilliant professors, learners
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
practical and professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as problem solving, critical thinking, which are crucial for becoming qualified employees.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
are much more helpful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
competences.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
a golden chance to augment their relationship.
For example
, clubs play an indispensable role in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
community. By joining a club,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more friends and can even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
valuable practical experience.

This is not to say that distance-learning method is useless. This state-of-the-art educational model enables learners to study any discipline without wasting time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into a long-distance tertiary school.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
they definitely will not gain as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits as the one choosing universities.

In conclusion
, studying in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
brings more advantages than distance-learning. Meanwhile, we should not neglect the needs of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to give suitable courses in the distance-learning
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
can promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
intellectual, physical and emotional development.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people use distance-learning programmes (study material, post, TV, the Internet, etc. ) to study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefits of attending college or university. with this opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
223 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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