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In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunities abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development? v.2

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunities abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development? v. 2
In recent times, it is very common for many pupils to travel overseas to complete their higher education. This type of education is certainly beneficial for students from under-developed countries which provide them with an opportunity to chose a wide range of science courses, as well as meeting students from different backgrounds and nationalities but there are also drawbacks to be taken into account. On the one hand, there is a number of advantages of studying abroad for higher education. Firstly, one benefit for overseas students is that there is a variety of science courses to choose from. Universities in underdeveloped countries may lack proper scientific equipment and don't have laboratories where students can perform research work. Western universities, on the other hand, have funding from the government, which they can utilise to upgrade their existing scientific facilities and offers an excellent research platform for their students. Secondly, western universities provide an environment where students from different nationalities can form friendships and develop their professional network in different countries with the help of their peers. For example, many Indian students when graduate from these universities, tend to become an entrepreneur and their first customers are generally those whom they have developed a relationship with during their university years. On the other hand, one problem with students going abroad is that it can have a devastating financial burden on their parents. Tertiary education is usually expensive going up to USD 50, 000 per year. This high cost is generally born by the parents of these students who take bank loans on high-interest rates to cover these massive fees, and when it comes to returning that loan, they either have to find other jobs or have to compromise on their daily expenditures which make their life miserable. Another possible issue is that students face difficulties acclimatizing themselves in the new country. In Canada, for example, students coming from countries with modest temperatures tend to become ill due to the cold and harsh environment that affects their studies as well as their pockets. In conclusion, while students can benefit from studying abroad, it can also lead to financial stress for their parents or adaption issues for the students themselves.
In recent times, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pupils to travel overseas to complete their higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. This type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
certainly
beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from under-developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which provide them with an opportunity to chose a wide range of science courses,
as well
as meeting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
backgrounds and nationalities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
also
drawbacks to
be taken
into account.

On the one hand, there is a number of advantages of studying abroad for higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Firstly
, one benefit for overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
is that there is a variety of science courses to choose from.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
in underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
may lack proper scientific equipment and don't have laboratories where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can perform research work. Western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
,
on the other hand
, have funding from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, which they can
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
to upgrade their existing scientific facilities and offers an excellent research platform for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Secondly
, western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
provide an environment where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nationalities can form friendships and develop their professional network in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of their peers.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
when graduate from these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
, tend to become an entrepreneur and their
first
customers are
generally
those whom they have developed a relationship with during their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
years.

On the other hand
, one problem with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
going abroad is that it can have a devastating financial burden on their parents. Tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
usually
expensive going up to USD 50, 000 per year. This high cost is
generally
born by the parents of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who take bank loans on high-interest rates to cover these massive fees, and when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to returning that loan, they either
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
find other jobs or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
compromise on their daily expenditures which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their life miserable. Another possible issue is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
face difficulties acclimatizing themselves in the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. In Canada,
for example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
coming from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with modest temperatures tend to become ill due to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
and harsh environment that affects their studies
as well
as their pockets.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can benefit from studying abroad, it can
also
lead to financial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
for their parents or adaption issues for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
themselves.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunities abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
366 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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