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Many people join distance-learning programmes(study material, post, TV, internet)and study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefit as attending colleges or universities does. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Many people join distance-learning programmes(study material, post, TV, internet)and study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefit as attending colleges or universities does. v. 1
Nowadays, distance-learning is being used by many people, especially after the invention of the internet. But according to some people, students who are learning in this way can not acquire knowledge properly, so they think that there is no bright sides. While, I disagree with this fact and as my understanding doing studies using a distance learning is benefecial, as learners can save much money. To begin, studying using new methods such as either through internet or joining online coursrs would be having the following benefits. Firstly, tutors who couldn't find jobs in a educational institutions created this kind of method teaching students. After that majority of people started joining online coures, because of price, I guess. They don't have to pay the expensive tuition fees, textbook fees and administration fees for joining college or university. Admittedly, students can save the commuting expenses and time, especially if they travel from long distance like countryside, whereas the college is located in the middle of a city. Moreover, students can join the online courses and take learning as per their convenient time say 1 hour on a daily basis instead of 5 hours on a single day. This can help them plan the other time of a day accordingly. And most of them are engaged in doing work, especially who are in a full-time part and can not devote time to attend a class physically, so they can learn whenever they are free. As abovementioned, some of the room learners can not attend to real education, because of family circumstance. And current study can prove that online learning also has some beneficial sides. The situation was occured in one of the villages in Italy. There you could face with a lot of applicangs with enthusiasm for studying. But almost all of them were from poor backgrounds, eo they couldn't go to educational institutions. Luckily, government provided them with internet acception and they started learning online. However, after few years they had achieved their sublimintal goals, even they were taught online. They gained a lot of experience and skills from the tutor. And it gave them opportunuties to find a job in their field. To conclude, learning something online is affordable for poor families, as they can save their important money and it can give invaluable chance to acquire knowledge about something through the internet. Moreover, distance learning is the demand of future because of efficiency and economic value. These facts have persuaded me to feel that distance learning is better option.
Nowadays, distance-learning is being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
especially
after the invention of the internet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
in this way can not acquire knowledge
properly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there is no bright sides. While, I disagree with this fact and as my understanding doing studies using a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefecial
, as learners can save much money.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, studying using new methods such as either through internet or joining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
Possible spelling mistake found.
coursrs
would be having the following benefits.
Firstly
, tutors who couldn't find jobs in
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
educational
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "institution"?
institutions
created this kind of method teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. After that majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
joining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
Possible spelling mistake found.
coures
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of price, I guess. They don't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay the expensive tuition fees, textbook fees and administration fees for joining college or university.
Admittedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can save the commuting expenses and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
especially
if they travel from long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distance
like countryside, whereas the college
is located
in the middle of a city.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
courses and take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
as per their convenient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
say 1 hour on a daily basis
instead
of 5 hours on a single day. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them plan the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of a day
accordingly
. And most of them
are engaged
in doing work,
especially
who are in a full-time part and can not devote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to attend a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
physically
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can learn whenever they are free. As
Possible spelling mistake found.
abovementioned
,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
room learners can not attend to real education,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of family circumstance. And
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
study can prove that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
beneficial sides. The situation was
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "occurred", the past tense form of the verb 'occur'?
occured
in one of the villages in Italy. There you could face with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Possible spelling mistake found.
applicangs
with enthusiasm for studying.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
almost all of them were from poor backgrounds,
Possible spelling mistake found.
eo
they couldn't go to educational institutions. Luckily,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
provided them with internet
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
acception and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
However
, after few years they had achieved their
Possible spelling mistake found.
sublimintal
goals, even they
were taught
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. They gained
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
experience and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
from the tutor. And it gave them
Possible spelling mistake found.
opportunuties
to find a job in their field.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
something
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is affordable for poor families, as they can save their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
money and it can give invaluable chance to acquire knowledge about something through the internet.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
is the demand of future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of efficiency and economic value. These facts have persuaded me to feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
is better option.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes
One who speaks only one language is one person, but one who speaks two languages is two people.
Turkish proverb

IELTS essay Many people join distance-learning programmes(study material, post, TV, internet)and study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefit as attending colleges or universities does. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
419 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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