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Many people try to look younger than their age. What are the reasons people do this? Do you think this is a good thing or a bad thing? v.7

Many people try to look younger than their age. What are the reasons people do this? Do you think this is a good thing or a bad thing? v. 7
One of the strongest desire that mankind trying to achieve is looking more youthful than they are. I think it is a nice thing someone can try to achieve, although it has a few drawbacks. So in this essay, I will describe why it is a pleasant thing and why many individuals tend to do this. Primarily, it is human nature that someone wants to look younger a few years back. My understanding is that someone might feel like they will excel or recognizable in society, Or even admired than the others of the same age. And some might get more opportunities than individuals in the same age group. For example, in the movie industry to maintain their fame and demand actors and actresses must stay glamorous and young looking as long as they are able. So for middle-aged people to retain their status or position in society seeing young is very important. Another purpose of stay looking younger is that self-satisfaction. Therefore, it is beneficial for them to maintain their lifestyle joyfully and continue better relationships. It is obvious that, attempt to look younger than they deem to be is a great action. Some individuals who are in middle age, deteriorate their life imaging of losing the young look. There is no doubt that they drop their mental and physical well-being. So to overcome this issue one can take the path to try to look younger. Taking everything into consideration, my personal thought is people attempting to look, stay looking young will encourage them to spend their life healthier and happier.
One of the strongest desire that mankind trying to achieve is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
looking
more youthful than they are.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is a nice thing someone can try to achieve, although it has a few drawbacks.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
in this essay, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
why it is a pleasant thing and why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals tend to do this.

Primarily
, it is human nature that someone wants to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
younger a few years back. My understanding is that someone might feel like they will excel or recognizable in society, Or even admired than the others of the same age. And
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more opportunities than individuals in the same age group.
For example
, in the movie industry to maintain their fame and demand actors and actresses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
stay glamorous and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
looking
as long as they are able.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
for middle-aged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to retain their status or position in society seeing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. Another purpose of stay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
looking
younger is that self-satisfaction.
Therefore
, it is beneficial for them to maintain their lifestyle
joyfully
and continue better relationships.

It is obvious that, attempt to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
younger than they deem to be is a great action.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals who are in middle age, deteriorate their life imaging of losing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
. There is no doubt that they drop their mental and physical well-being.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
to overcome this issue one can take the path to try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
younger.

Taking everything into consideration, my personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
attempting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
, stay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
looking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
will encourage them to spend their life healthier and happier.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people try to look younger than their age. What are the reasons people do this? Do you think this is a good thing or a bad thing? v. 7

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
262 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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