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Many people try to look younger than their age. What are reasons people do this. Do you think this is a good thing or a bad thing? v.5

Many people try to look younger than their age. What are reasons people do this. Do you think this is a good thing or a bad thing? v. 5
Physical appearance is the sum of traits and features that describe the body patterns of a person. It is true that people want to look younger than their actual age. In my opinion, the drawbacks of looking younger than actual age are more significant than its positive aspects. (48) We had seen in the past that people were not much conscious about their age. They always prefer health over physical appearance, and lead a very simple life. (28) Presently, the trend to look young is spreading all over the world. Most of the people hide their actual age just to feel inner satisfaction. Unfortunately, this is not a positive thing for several reasons. For example, many individuals, who try to look younger, actually start to act and behave like youngsters and ignore all the wisdom that is supposed to come with aging. In addition, those people who excessively used cosmetic products and even surgeries are actually spoiled the healthy tissues of their skin. This not only disturbs their general health, but also boosts the chances of skin cancer. (100) The recent development in fashion and the influence of social media has forced the people to adopt various methods of artificial beauty in order to look young and attractive. Thus, if the focus of people remained on beauty and younger look, then they will surely lose their natural beauty and age respect in the near future. (56) Therefore, it is necessary for people to realize that there is no harm in getting older, and rather than trying to look younger, they should learn to appreciate the wisdom and maturity that come with aging. (36)
Physical appearance is the sum of traits and features that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
the body patterns of a person. It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
than their actual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. In my opinion, the drawbacks of looking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
than actual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
are more significant than its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects. (48)

We had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the past that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were not much conscious about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. They always prefer health over physical appearance, and lead a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
simple life. (28)

Presently
, the trend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
young is spreading all over the world. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
their actual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to feel inner satisfaction. Unfortunately, this is not a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
thing for several reasons.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals, who try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
, actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to act and behave like youngsters and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
all the wisdom that
is supposed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with aging.
In addition
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
excessively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
cosmetic products and even surgeries are actually spoiled the healthy tissues of their skin. This not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
disturbs their general health,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
boosts the chances of skin cancer. (100)

The recent development in fashion and the influence of social media has forced the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to adopt various methods of artificial beauty in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
young and attractive.
Thus
, if the focus of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
remained on beauty and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
, then they will
surely
lose their natural beauty and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
respect in the near future. (56)

Therefore
, it is necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to realize that there is no harm in getting older, and
rather
than trying to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
, they should learn to appreciate the wisdom and maturity that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with aging. (36)
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay Many people try to look younger than their age. What are reasons people do this. Do you think this is a good thing or a bad thing? v. 5

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
272 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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