Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

It is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30, as this is best both for the individual and for society. Do you agree or disagree? v.3

It is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30, as this is best both for the individual and for society. v. 3
These days, many people support the idea that young people under 30 should be promoted to get married since the age of 30 and under is assumed as the best choice both for the individual and for society. I disagree with this idea because from my point of view marriage requires a mature mentality and financial stability, which is more common for people aged 30 and over. First of all, people usually decide to get married to order to start a family, live together and subsequently have children. All of these aspects of family life require the inputs of significant financial resources. Usually, young people that have just graduated from university don’t have a high salary; some of them are even unemployed. Therefore, they cannot afford to pay a wide range of different living costs. On the other hand, mature people aged 30 and over often have sufficient work experience and, usually, their salaries are much more than fresh graduates’. As a result, they have a sound financial status and they have an ability to support not only themselves but also a family. Furthermore, a mature mentality is also an essential part of family life. According to experts, mature people are more mentally healthy in their behaviour and emotions. As far as I’m concerned, marriage involves unavoidable conflicts and misunderstandings, so people need to be calm and sensible enough to deal with these problems without damaging a fragile human psyche. Personally speaking, I believe that people aged 30 and over are more experienced and emotionally balanced. Taking everything into consideration, I do not support the opinion of encouraging young people to get married. It is more important to be mentally healthy and financially independent to start a family than to be young and have children just to improve the rate of demographic.
These days,
many
people
support the
idea
that
young
people
under 30 should
be promoted
to
get
married since the age of 30 and under
is assumed
as the best choice both for the individual and for society. I disagree with this
idea
because
from my point of view marriage requires a
mature
mentality and financial stability, which is more common for
people
aged 30 and over.

First of all
,
people
usually
decide to
get
married to order to
start
a
family
,
live
together and
subsequently
have children. All of these aspects of
family
life require the inputs of significant financial resources.
Usually
,
young
people
that have
just
graduated from university don’t have a high salary;
some
of them are even unemployed.
Therefore
, they cannot afford to pay a wide range of
different
living costs.
On the other hand
,
mature
people
aged 30 and over
often
have sufficient work experience and,
usually
, their salaries are much more than fresh graduates’.
As a result
, they have a sound financial
status and
they have an ability to support not
only
themselves
but
also
a family.

Furthermore
, a
mature
mentality is
also
an essential part of
family
life. According to experts,
mature
people
are more mentally healthy in their
behaviour
and emotions. As far as I’m concerned, marriage involves unavoidable conflicts and misunderstandings,
so
people
need to be calm and sensible
enough
to deal with these problems without damaging a fragile human psyche.
Personally
speaking, I believe that
people
aged 30 and over are more experienced and
emotionally
balanced.

Taking everything into consideration, I do not support the opinion of encouraging
young
people
to
get
married. It is more
important
to be mentally healthy and
financially
independent to
start
a
family
than to be
young
and have children
just
to
improve
the rate of demographic.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay It is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30, as this is best both for the individual and for society. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts