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Many people try to look younger than their age. What are the reasons people do this. Do you think this is a good thing or a bad thing? v.4

Many people try to look younger than their age. What are the reasons people do this. Do you think this is a good thing or a bad thing? v. 4
There has been a growing trend for people to make themselves look younger despite their age. Many reasons underlie this practice, the most prominence of which being to heighten one’s confidence. While it is superficially beneficial, there is a myriad of drawbacks, some can be fatal at times, that should not be overlooked. The advance of social media has resulted in the exposure to the ostensible good lives of famous people such as celebrities. This is just one of the inherent negative impacts that come with the internet. One of the aspects that entices those who care much about their outward appearances is the seemingly-ever-young bodies of some public figures. Having seen the impossible standards of beauty, some will think to themselves as to why they do not have such appeal, resulting in low self-esteem that enough to get them to do something, Most certainly, only few people can reach them to personally ask for advices, while the rest are only able to do trials and errors at best. By this, I point to some reasonable efforts, for instance consulting to beauty experts or dermatologists; and conducting healthier lifestyles, but also the inane and unreliable ones, including illegal harmful chemicals injections. People, driven with cloudy minds, often cannot discern the good from the bad, ended up in regret and uncoverable new flaws in their bodies. There have been too many cases of malpractice in this area, accentuating the red flags on this course. In addition to the wrong motivation, the practice itself is strife with dangers, convincing me that it is best to avoid altering the natural process of the body. To conclude, people should be more grateful of what they have, instead of spot-lighting what they do not possess. However, if one insists on giving a try, this kind of cosmetic enhancement should always be taken with a grain of salt. People must make sure that the road they are willing to take is thought through and ensure that whatever they are going to try is done conforming to certain health standards.
There has been a growing trend for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
themselves look younger despite their age.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
reasons underlie this practice, the most prominence of which being to heighten one’s confidence. While it is
superficially
beneficial, there is a myriad of drawbacks,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
can be fatal at times, that should not
be overlooked
.

The advance of social media has resulted in the exposure to the ostensible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
such as celebrities. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one of the inherent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with the internet. One of the aspects that entices those who care much about their outward appearances is the
seemingly
-ever-young bodies of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
public figures. Having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
the impossible standards of beauty,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
to themselves as to why they do not have such appeal, resulting in low self-esteem that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
them to do something,

Most
certainly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can reach them to
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
advices, while the rest are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
able to do trials and errors at best. By this, I point to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasonable efforts,
for instance
consulting to beauty experts or dermatologists; and conducting healthier lifestyles,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the inane and unreliable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
, including illegal harmful chemicals injections.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
, driven with cloudy minds,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
cannot discern the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
, ended up in regret and
Possible spelling mistake found.
uncoverable
new flaws in their bodies. There have been too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases of malpractice in this area, accentuating the red flags on this course.
In addition
to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
motivation, the practice itself is strife with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
, convincing me that it is best to avoid altering the natural process of the body.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be more grateful of what they have,
instead
of spot-lighting what they do not possess.
However
, if one insists on giving a try, this kind of cosmetic enhancement should always
be taken
with a grain of salt.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that the road they are willing to take is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
through and ensure that whatever they are going to try
is done
conforming to certain health standards.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people try to look younger than their age. What are the reasons people do this. Do you think this is a good thing or a bad thing? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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