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Many people try to look younger than their age. What are the causes people do this? Do you think this is a good thing or bad thing? v.3

Many people try to look younger than their age. What are the causes people do this? Do you think this is a good thing or bad thing? v. 3
Good-looking appearance help people self-satisfaction and more confidence to approach their goals in life. But gradually, more and more people try to delaying their ages and put them in such a situation. Of course, there are reasons why is it happening, and in my perspective, I think this trend gives a negative impact on people. Currently, because of societal beauty standards makes them feel like they need to take care of their face even more. For instance, beauty help you have a good impression on your first meeting with someone or not worried about your humble appearance might leave a bad impression on them or not. Besides, marketing is also one of the primary reasons to make people attempt to become younger than their age. It creates various cosmetics to apply on your skin in order to make you more gorgeous. The advertisement also leave a small impact on you since it appears on your daily life, articulating the benefits of taking care of face. Hence, people tend to be interested getting younger, thus, they find many ways for them to be youthful. However, this tendency can bring trial drawbacks to the people. To my mind, I personally support the idea taking care of their appearance but it doesn't mean to put their health at risk. As you can see, the effect of undergoing plastic surgery can leave some negative sides effect on their health, either man or woman. Furthermore, abusing utilization of unnatural progress would damage your skin and life-threaten. Some impatient people want to push up the process and make their face glowing as soon as possible, so they apply an inappropriate amount of cosmetics on their face. As a consequence, they only make it worse! Obviously, senescence is inevitable things occur in nature, so don't try to against it unless you want to destroy your pretty face. In conclusion, even though there are many reasons out there like a thrust or pressure make you feel your appearance is not good enough so you try to conquer it. But, being aware of taking care of your face is a good thing to make you love yourself more and confidence-buildng. In contrast, it would be a bad decision if it could be detrimental to your health and put your life at risk.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
-looking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
self-satisfaction and more confidence to approach their goals in life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
gradually
, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to
Did you mean "delay"?
delaying
their ages and put them in such a situation.
Of course
, there are reasons why is it happening, and in my perspective, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this trend gives a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Currently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of societal beauty standards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
them feel like they need to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
even more.
For instance
, beauty
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
impression on your
first
meeting with someone or not worried about your humble
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearance
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impression on them or not.
Besides
, marketing is
also
one of the primary reasons to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
attempt to become younger than their age. It creates various cosmetics to apply on your skin in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
you more gorgeous. The advertisement
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
impact on you since it appears on your daily life, articulating the benefits of taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
be interested
getting younger,
thus
, they find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways for them to be youthful.

However
, this tendency can bring trial drawbacks to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. To my mind, I
personally
support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it doesn't mean to put their health at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
. As you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, the effect of undergoing plastic surgery can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides effect on their health, either
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
or woman.
Furthermore
, abusing utilization of unnatural progress would damage your skin and life-threaten.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
impatient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to push up the process and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
glowing as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they apply an inappropriate amount of cosmetics on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
. As a consequence, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
it worse!
Obviously
, senescence is inevitable things occur in nature,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
don't try to against it unless you want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
your pretty face.

In conclusion
,
even though
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons out there like a thrust or pressure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
you feel your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearance
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
you try to conquer it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, being aware of taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
yourself more and
Possible spelling mistake found.
confidence-buildng
.
In contrast
, it would be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
decision if it could be detrimental to your health and put your life at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people try to look younger than their age. What are the causes people do this? Do you think this is a good thing or bad thing? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
383 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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