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Many people try to look younger than their age. What are the reasons people do this. Do you think this is a good thing or a bad thing? v.15

Many people try to look younger than their age. What are the reasons people do this. Do you think this is a good thing or a bad thing? v. 15
The human being naturally getting old day by day. A number of people, today, desire to look younger than their age. The reason is that people want to feel to be liked by other people, and have a sense of life satisfaction. I think that it is a good trend because they spend money for cosmetic products. There are some reasons associated with that looking young. Firstly, many people desire that other people praise their physical appearance, and like their look. For example, today, a middle-aged person, especially a woman, would feel grateful to you, if you tell her how young and beautiful she is despite her age. Secondly, people feel satisfied with life when they look at their younger look in the mirror. For instance, many health experts claim that people, who look old, feel happier after aesthetic facial surgery. Therefore, a sense of happiness and satisfaction stem from the practices of looking younger. The desire of looking younger comes with some advantages. One is that people use cosmetic products, which help people look younger physically. As a result of that, cosmetic industry, in which many people work, stays alive. To illustrate, another advantage is that makeup artists and health experts make money thanks to those who either look younger and keep their young appearance. Thus, it is a positive trend for people spend money in the cosmetic field. In conclusion, looking younger and younger has become a common interest among middle-aged people. Feeling satisfied and happy, and the desire to be praised and to be liked by others are some reasons for this interest. In my opinion, this is a good thing since such an interest contributes the continuity and development of the cosmetic industry.
The human being
naturally
getting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
day by day. A number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desire
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
than their age. The reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
to
be liked
by other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and have a sense of life satisfaction. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
trend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they spend money for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cosmetic
products.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons associated with that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
looking
young.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desire
that other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
praise their physical appearance, and like their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, a middle-aged person,
especially
a woman, would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
grateful to you, if you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
her how young and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
she is despite her age.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
satisfied with life when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
at their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
in the mirror.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health experts claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
happier after aesthetic facial surgery.
Therefore
, a sense of happiness and satisfaction stem from the practices of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
looking
younger.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desire
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
looking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages. One is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cosmetic
products, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
physically
.
As a result
of that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cosmetic
industry, in which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
work, stays alive. To illustrate, another advantage is that makeup artists and health experts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money thanks to those who either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their young appearance.
Thus
, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend money in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cosmetic
field.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
looking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
has become a common interest among middle-aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Feeling satisfied and happy, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desire
to
be praised
and to
be liked
by others are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons for this interest. In my opinion, this is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing since such an interest contributes the continuity and development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cosmetic
industry.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people try to look younger than their age. What are the reasons people do this. Do you think this is a good thing or a bad thing? v. 15

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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