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Some people are making new friends by using socializing network websites and internet chat rooms. Some people say that this is a good thing. Others say that people should make new friends by face to face chat. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people are making new friends by using socializing network websites and internet chat rooms. Some people say that this is a good thing. Others say that people should make new friends by face to face chat. v. 1
The increasing trend of making friends with the help of social sites, such as Facebook, has become a controversial issue. While some analyst believe that this is definitely advantageous for the people, others think that it is more beneficial to widen the network by face-to-face interaction. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument in depth. I, however, opine that real interactions are much safer. To begin with, there are some individuals who favour networking sites for socialising. This is because, in the present world, everyone has easy access to modern gadgets, such as cell phones, which offer a variety of ways to become social. To cite an example, these days millions of people are connected with each other from websites including Facebook, WhatsApp and many more. In this way people from every corner of the world can send friend requests to anyone and broaden their circle. That is why the advocates of the perspective are in favour of online communication. On the other hand, a vast majority of people consider that one should socialise by manually meeting with others. Since in these circumstances, if a person actually interacts with another individual, the chances of being deceived are fewer, and in addition, they get to know well. For instance, it is generally seen that the section of the society who spends quality time together shares a healthy bond of relationship and often helps each other in times of need. To recapitulate, they are right in thinking that those who mutually share views are trustworthy. To sum up, the community is divided on the way of being communalise. Some consider online friendship an excellent way of widening friend circle, whereas another section thinks actual communications have several advantages, I personally go with the latter view as the friends are honest and real in this method.
The increasing trend of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of social sites, such as Facebook, has become a controversial issue. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "analysts"?
analyst
believe that this is definitely advantageous for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is more beneficial to widen the network by face-to-face interaction. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument in depth. I,
however
, opine that real interactions are much safer.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals who
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
networking sites for
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, in the present world, everyone has easy access to modern gadgets, such as cell phones, which offer a variety of ways to become social. To cite an example, these days millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are connected
with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
from websites including Facebook, WhatsApp and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. In this way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from every corner of the world can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
requests to anyone and broaden their circle.
That is
why the advocates of the perspective are in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of online communication.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, a vast majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider that one should
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
by
manually
meeting with others. Since in these circumstances, if a person actually interacts with another individual, the chances of
being deceived
are fewer, and
in addition
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know well.
For instance
, it is
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the section of the society who spends quality time together shares a healthy bond of relationship and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
in times of need. To recapitulate, they are right in thinking that those who
mutually
share views are trustworthy.

To sum up, the community
is divided
on the way of being
Consider using a past participle here: "communalised".
communalise
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
consider online friendship an excellent way of widening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
circle, whereas another section
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
actual communications have several advantages, I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
the latter view as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are honest and real in this method.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people are making new friends by using socializing network websites and internet chat rooms. Some people say that this is a good thing. Others say that people should make new friends by face to face chat. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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