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Many people think that the behaviour of professional sportsmen/sportswomen on or off the field is not important as long as they are good players. To what extent do you agree or disagree with it? v.1

Many people think that the behaviour of professional sportsmen/sportswomen on or off the field is not important as long as they are good players. with it? v. 1
A vast majority of people believe that it does not matter how sports-persons behave, if they are doing excel in their field. This essay disagrees with the given statement because sports players act as a celebrity, and people follow them, and furthermore, they are nation's representative. To commence with, professional sportsmen are followed by the public and some even consider them their idols. Since a large part of the population watch them and appreciate their performance on the ground, and people often worship them and any type of the misbehaviour would leave a worse impact on the general public. For instance, if a sports-person takes part in fighting with another player, and violates the rules of the games, then our youth may imitate them and might take into consideration that their behaviour is appropriate. In short, any type of misconduct is intolerable. Another possible reason is that these national players are the country's representative in the playing field. In other words, whenever a match is played between the two countries, all the participants would symbolise their respective nations. But if an individual behaves in an inappropriate manner, then he will put a scar on the country's traditions and customs. For example, smoking is not permitted at public places, so they must convey a message to the people that it should be avoided rather than putting emphasis on the smoking. To elucidate, it would be wise to behave appropriately in order to set up a good example in front of the others. To conclude, although our society is divided on the perspective of acknowledgement of behavioural conduct by the famous players, I think that they play an inevitable role and they must act accordingly whether they are on or off the ground since they are worshipped by the youth and also represent national identity.
A vast majority of
people
believe that it does not matter how sports-persons behave, if they are doing excel in their field. This essay disagrees with the
given
statement
because
sports
players
act as a celebrity, and
people
follow them, and
furthermore
, they are nation's representative.

To commence with, professional sportsmen
are followed
by the public and
some
even consider them their idols. Since a large part of the population
watch
them and appreciate their performance on the ground, and
people
often
worship them and any type of the
misbehaviour
would
leave
a worse impact on the
general public
.
For instance
, if a sports-person
takes part
in fighting with another
player
, and violates the
rules
of the games, then our youth may imitate them and might take into consideration that their
behaviour
is appropriate. In short, any type of misconduct is intolerable.

Another possible reason is that these national
players
are the country's representative in the playing field.
In other words
, whenever a match
is played
between the two countries, all the participants would
symbolise
their respective nations.
But
if an individual behaves
in an inappropriate manner
, then he will put a scar on the country's traditions and customs.
For example
, smoking is not permitted at public places,
so
they
must
convey a message to the
people
that it should
be avoided
rather
than putting emphasis on the smoking. To elucidate, it would be wise to behave
appropriately
in order to set up a
good
example in front of the others.

To conclude
, although our society
is divided
on the perspective of
acknowledgement
of
behavioural
conduct by the
famous
players
, I
think
that they play an inevitable
role and
they
must
act
accordingly
whether they are on or off the ground since they are
worshipped
by the youth and
also
represent national identity.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people think that the behaviour of professional sportsmen/sportswomen on or off the field is not important as long as they are good players. with it? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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