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While it is sometimes thought that prison is the best place for criminals, others believe that there are better ways to deal with them. What is your opinion? v.2

Crime is a serious and growing problem in most societies. It is thought that jail is the best place for keeping lawbreakers, while it is argued that there are several other ways to address them. While I accept that the best way to reduce crime is to give confinement sentences, I also believe that there are alternative ways that will be more effective. On the one hand, there are a number of reasons why some believe that criminals should be sent to prison. Criminals who commit serious damage to others, such as robbery, violence or even homicides, jail is a place to keep them away from the community, which ensures innocent people’s safety. In confinement lawbreakers have a chance to engage in rehabilitation programmes such as vocational training, voluntary works, manual labour. Also, in the long term penitentiary is the best deterrent for their bad actions. Hence, after a long time they could change their awareness of mistakes and become productive members of society. On the other hand, some argue that there are better alternative choices than receive prison sentences such as education and training. I suppose that penitentiary may be counterproductive with people who commit misdemeanours. For example, juvenile delinquents were induced from bad friends participating in criminal activities like shoplifting or drug abuse because of peer pressure. If they have to stay in prison with people who commit serious crimes, it leads to breeding hatred and revenge of people with misdemeanour and personality will not improve. Therefore, education and training are more suitable options for offenders who are young or when the crimes are misdemeanours because such actions will give them a chance to be productive members of society. In conclusion, although some people think that offenders should be sent to penitentiary which is the best way, I personally believe that education and training are also necessary for criminals to not commit crimes again in the future.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crime
is a serious and growing problem in most societies. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that jail is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
place for keeping lawbreakers, while it
is argued
that there are several other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to address them. While I accept that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is to give confinement sentences, I
also
believe that there are alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
that will be more effective.

On the one hand, there are a number of reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to prison.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Criminals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commit
serious damage to others, such as robbery, violence or even homicides, jail is a place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them away from the community, which ensures innocent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
safety. In confinement lawbreakers have a chance to engage in rehabilitation
Possible spelling mistake. ‘programmes’ is British English.
programmes
such as vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
, voluntary works, manual
Possible spelling mistake. ‘labour’ is British English.
labour
.
Also
, in the long term penitentiary is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
deterrent for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
actions.
Hence
, after a long time they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their awareness of mistakes and become productive members of society.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that there are better alternative choices than receive prison sentences such as education and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
. I suppose that penitentiary may be counterproductive with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commit
Possible spelling mistake found.
misdemeanours
.
For example
, juvenile delinquents
were induced
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
friends participating in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
activities like shoplifting or drug abuse
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of peer pressure. If they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
stay in prison with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commit
serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, it leads to breeding hatred and revenge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
misdemeanour
and personality will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
.
Therefore
, education and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
are more suitable options for offenders
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are young or when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
misdemeanours
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
such actions will give them a chance to be productive members of society.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that offenders should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to penitentiary which is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
, I
personally
believe that education and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
are
also
necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
to not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
again in the future.
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IELTS essay While it is sometimes thought that prison is the best place for criminals, others believe that there are better ways to deal with them.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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