Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that it is fine for professional sportsmen and sportswomen to misbehave on or off the field, as long as they are playing well. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.1

Some people think that it is fine for professional sportsmen and sportswomen to misbehave on or off the field, as long as they are playing well. v. 1
One of the most conspicuous trends of today's world is to admire athletes as role model, be it in the game of cricket, football or tennis. There is a widespread worry that this will only lead to a myriad of concerns to the youngsters. In my opinion, this apprehension is warranted and merits serious consideration. There are a number of arguments in favour of my stance. The most preponderant one is that most adolescents imitate their role model's manner and attitude, therefore allowing athletes to behave in an unacceptable standard on or outside the field like brawling over insignificant things would undoubtedly create bad influence on their fans. Not only can this rude behaviour of sportsmen and women adversely affect their reputation, but can also have negative effects on their fans values. Needless to say, all these demerits have far-reaching impact on the public. Another pivotal aspect of this argument is that accepting disrespectful manner of athletes to verbally assault their counterpart or aggressive attack would force families to stop watching a sports event which is a social activity for the whole family. Besides, such behaviour would end professional career of sportsmen and sportswomen. Hence, it is apparent why many are against accepting misbehaviour of athletes on or off the field. In view of the argument outlined above, one can conclude that the drawbacks of bad behaviour of athletes are indeed too dire to ignore.
One of the most conspicuous trends of
today
's world is to admire
athletes
as role model, be it in the game of cricket, football or tennis. There is a widespread worry that this will
only
lead to a myriad of concerns to the youngsters. In my opinion, this apprehension
is warranted
and merits serious consideration.

There are a number of arguments in
favour
of my stance. The most preponderant one is that most adolescents imitate their role model's manner and attitude,
therefore
allowing
athletes
to behave in an unacceptable standard on or outside the field like brawling over insignificant things would
undoubtedly
create
bad
influence on their fans. Not
only
can this rude
behaviour
of sportsmen and women
adversely
affect their reputation,
but
can
also
have
negative
effects on their fans values. Needless to say, all these demerits have far-reaching impact on the public.

Another pivotal aspect of this argument is that accepting disrespectful manner of
athletes
to
verbally
assault their counterpart or aggressive attack would force families to
stop
watching a sports
event
which is a social activity for the whole family.
Besides
, such
behaviour
would
end
professional career of sportsmen and sportswomen.
Hence
, it is apparent why
many
are against accepting
misbehaviour
of
athletes
on or off the field.

In view of the argument outlined above, one can conclude that the drawbacks of
bad
behaviour
of
athletes
are
indeed
too dire to
ignore
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that it is fine for professional sportsmen and sportswomen to misbehave on or off the field, as long as they are playing well. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
235 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts