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Many people think that it is okay to spend a lot of money in a large wedding. Others argue with it. Discuss both views and give you opinion. v.1

Many people think that it is okay to spend a lot of money in a large wedding. Others argue with it. v. 1
Extreme advertising by multinational companies are very normal nowadays. Is this a good or bad thing? One may ask. Let's examine to what extent this is productive and pros and cons of such market condition. Advertising was a part of life for centuries. From small shops to large companies all need them to sell their products. In recent years, large corporations with revenues in the millions are spending huge amount in the advertisement. With such resources, they create such a good campaign that buyers end up spending a lot more and purchasing items they don't need. For example, Companies like "Zara" and "H & M" are coming up with new trendy clothes every week. They put very lucrative ads with large discounts. This has created a trend called fast fashion, so people buy more clothes for cheap and end up not using almost half of those. Such waste of resources has a huge negative impact on the environment. Additionally, People are becoming more materialistic with the advancement of consumerism. Social networking sites like Facebook will keep these advertisements in your face. People are being judged on material wealth instead of personal qualities. These effects are very powerful, especially in teenagers. For example, to feel included teenagers tend to buy the product that their friends have, this creates a chain effect in selling products. However, if you are a wise consumer then consumerism is not a bad thing. Advertisement will keep you informed about advancement in technology and new products which can improve the life. For example, I learned about the house cleaning robots from online ad. It is a wonderful product which has saved a lot of time for me. In conclusion, companies will always try to sell their product as much as they can. It has its advantages as well as disadvantages as discussed. It should be the responsibility of us as a consumer to be wise and buy only thing that we need.
Extreme advertising by multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
normal nowadays. Is this a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
thing? One may ask.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's examine to what extent this is productive and pros and cons of such market condition.

Advertising was a part of life for centuries. From
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
shops to large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
all need them to sell their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. In recent years, large corporations with revenues in the millions are spending huge amount in the advertisement. With such resources, they create such a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
campaign that buyers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up spending a lot more and purchasing items they don't need.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Companies
like
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Zara
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
and
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
H & M
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
are coming up with new trendy clothes every week. They put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
lucrative ads with large discounts. This has created a trend called
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
fashion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
more clothes for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up not using almost half of those. Such waste of resources has a huge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the environment.

Additionally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are becoming more materialistic with the advancement of consumerism. Social networking sites like Facebook will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
these advertisements in your face.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are
being judged
on material wealth
instead
of personal qualities. These effects are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
powerful,
especially
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.
For example
, to feel included
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
that their friends have, this creates a chain effect in selling products.

However
, if you are a wise consumer then consumerism is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
thing. Advertisement will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
you informed about advancement in technology and new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the life.
For example
, I learned about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
cleaning robots from online ad. It is a wonderful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
which has saved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time for me.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
will always try to sell their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
as much as they can. It has its advantages
as well
as disadvantages as discussed. It should be the responsibility of us as a consumer to be wise and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing that we need.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Many people think that it is okay to spend a lot of money in a large wedding. Others argue with it. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
325 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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