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Children nowadays watch significantly more television than those in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. Why is this the case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activüy among children? Give reasons for your v.3

Children nowadays watch significantly more television than those in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. Why is this the case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activüy among children? Give reasons for your v. 3
Although some people have the opinion that after the age of 65 employees should not be allowed to continue their job, others think that they should be permitted to continue their job without any age restriction. In my opinion, I believe that employees should be given an option to continue their job after they reach a certain age. On the one hand, if the employees over the age of 65 are forced to take retirement, then it opens more vacancies for young job seekers. This is beneficial for the company because they have lower salaries than experienced workers. Take Facebook for an example, as they have recently decided to integrate this policy and found a 20 percent increase in their work efficiency. Furthermore, after retiring people can enjoy the remaining time of their life behind hobbies and leisure activities. On the other hand, by allowing senior citizens to continue their job can greatly help them financially. For instance, in a situation where a family is solely dependent on the income of an elderly family member then it is crucial for that member to continue his or her job. In addition to financial benefits, it also helps them remain physically and mentally healthy by keeping them busier rather than sitting idle at home. Therefore, by allowing senior citizens to carry on with their job is a great favour the employer is doing to them and their family. To conclude, in my opinion elderly people should have an option whether to quit or keep on with their job based on their financial and family situation.
Although
some
people
have the opinion that after the age of 65 employees should not be
allowed
to
continue
their
job
, others
think
that they should
be permitted
to
continue
their
job
without any age restriction. In my opinion, I believe that employees should be
given
an option to
continue
their
job
after they reach a certain age.

On the one hand, if the employees over the age of 65
are forced
to take retirement, then it opens more vacancies for young
job
seekers. This is beneficial for the
company
because
they have lower salaries than experienced workers. Take Facebook for an example, as they have recently decided to integrate this policy and found a 20 percent increase in their work efficiency.
Furthermore
, after retiring
people
can enjoy the remaining time of their life behind hobbies and leisure activities.

On the other hand
, by allowing senior citizens to
continue
their
job
can
greatly
help
them
financially
.
For instance
, in a situation where a family is
solely
dependent on the income of an elderly family member then it is crucial for that member to
continue
his or her
job
.
In addition
to financial benefits, it
also
helps
them remain
physically
and mentally healthy by keeping them busier
rather
than sitting idle at home.
Therefore
, by allowing senior citizens to carry on with their
job
is a great
favour
the employer is doing to them and their family.

To conclude
, in my opinion elderly
people
should have an option whether to quit or
keep
on with their
job
based on their financial and family situation.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
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IELTS essay Children nowadays watch significantly more television than those in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. Why is this the case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activüy among children? Give reasons for your v. 3

Essay
4 paragraphs
263 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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