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Many people think that is best to accept a bad situation like an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money, v.1

Many people think that is best to accept a bad situation like an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money, v. 1
Many people think that is best to accept a bad situation like an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money, whereas other people say that it is better to try and improve such situation. In my opinion, accept a bad situation is an easy way that make people can live with the present situation, but it cannot make people happy for a long time, while people will have a better life by try to solve and improve that situation. If people accept a bad situation, their life is easy. People need not to care about the problem because they think like it is not a problem. When they do not like their job or do not have money enough, the only thing to do is let it pass. It is very simple and easy, but happiness is gone because people choose to stay in the bad situation all time. People can avoid a bad situation by trying to solve it. There are many opportunity to do to solve this problem. They do not need to live in a bad situation when they have already improved it, the good life is better for people. Tui is my friend who has money problems and do not find the way to solve that, she always thinks her life is good in the early of the month but fully sad when nearly the end of the month, for example. In conclusion, accept a bad situation is a simple and easy way for people, but it is better for them to solve and improve that situation because by this way people can find the real happiness and good situations.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that is
best to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accept
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
like an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money, whereas other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to
"Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "try to" is recommended for writing.
try and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accept
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easy
way that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with the present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
happy for a long time, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
by try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
that situation.

If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accept
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easy
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
need not
Did you mean "care"?
to care
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
like it is not a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. When they do not like their job or do not have money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing to do is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
it pass. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
simple and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easy
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
happiness
is gone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to stay in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
all time.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
can avoid a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
by trying to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
it. There are
Possible agreement error. The noun opportunity seems to be countable; consider using: "many opportunities".
many opportunity
to do to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. They do not need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
when they have already
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
it, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Tui
is my friend who has money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and do not find the way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
that, she always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
in
The phrase 'the early of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the early of
the month
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
fully
sad when
nearly
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the month,
for example
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accept
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
is a simple and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easy
way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
for them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
by this way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can find the real happiness and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
53Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay Many people think that is best to accept a bad situation like an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money, v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
273 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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