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demand of food is increasing day by day. State merits and demerits. v.1

demand of food is increasing day by day. State merits and demerits. v. 1
Food is one of the basic need of human beings as it provides energy and nutrition to the people. Consumption of food is increasing exponentially all over the world. Thus, it creates trouble for the farmer to arrange food for all the citizens. In this essay I would discuss about the major reasons of difficulty and also some potential solutions to this grim problem. To initiate with, it is undeniable fact that the ever-expanding population and wastage are two main causes. In other words, ceaseless growth in the number of consumers raised the demand for food, which has brought a situation where crop production is not equivalent to per the demand for food. Moreover, carelessness about saving food also constitutes an another reason for rising with the demand, as people waste more food than consuming it. For an instance, it is a common sight that in big hotels and restaurants, large amount of food is wasted on a daily basis, rather than proper utilization of food. In a similar vein, this grave problem can be resolved with proper initiatives like awareness of modern farming methods and by boosting the agriculture sector. To clarify this, International community should take the responsibility that the government of every country must promote agriculture. Individuals consider farming as non-profitable activity, and this mindset could be changed by providing huge tax exemptions and subsidies, which may result in growth of farming occupation. Furthermore, modern and advanced methods of farming can also reduce this problem of scarcity of food, as it increases nutrition and production of food at a faster rate. For an example, organic farming helps many countries, by improving the sustainability of food, resulting in fulfilling the requirement of citizens. In compendium, although there are numerous issues faced by peasant, these could be managed by adopting the modern methods of farming and by promoting farming occupation. In this way, countries could sustain food for the multitudes.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Food
is one of the basic need of human beings as it provides energy and nutrition to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is increasing
exponentially
all over the world.
Thus
, it creates trouble for the farmer to arrange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for all the citizens. In this essay I would
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
major reasons of difficulty and
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
potential solutions to this grim problem.

To initiate with, it is undeniable fact that the ever-expanding population and wastage are two main causes.
In other words
, ceaseless growth in the number of consumers raised the demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, which has brought a situation where crop production is not equivalent to per the demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Moreover
, carelessness about saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
also
constitutes
One of these determiners is redundant in this context. Choose only one: "a reason" or "another reason".
an another reason
for rising with the demand, as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
waste more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
than consuming it. For an instance, it is a common sight that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
hotels and restaurants, large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is wasted
on a daily basis,
rather
than proper utilization of food.

In a similar vein, this grave problem can
be resolved
with proper initiatives like awareness of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
methods and by boosting the agriculture sector. To clarify this, International community should take the responsibility that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of every country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
promote agriculture. Individuals consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
as non-profitable activity, and this mindset could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
by providing huge tax exemptions and subsidies, which may result in growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
occupation.
Furthermore
, modern and advanced methods of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
this problem of scarcity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, as it increases nutrition and production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
at a faster rate. For an example, organic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, by improving the sustainability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, resulting in fulfilling the requirement of citizens.

In compendium, although there are numerous issues faced by peasant, these could
be managed
by adopting the modern methods of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
and by promoting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farming
occupation. In this way, countries could sustain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for the multitudes.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS essay demand of food is increasing day by day. State merits and demerits. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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