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Many people think that fast food companies should not be allowed to advertise while others believed that all companies should have the right to advertise What is your opinion v.2

Many people think that fast food companies should not be allowed to advertise while others believed that all companies should have the right to advertise What is your opinion v. 2
Talking about advertisements used to advertise in fast food companies. Some people consider that advertising should not use in the fast food industry, other people think that advertising allowed for companies. In my opinion, I total agree with companies have rights to advertise. Why fast food industry does not use to advertise on their products. I don’t agree with this. There are several reasons that answering all companies have the right fair. Advertising is a key part of their products and services. Nowadays, there are so many companies using to advertise to tell their products to customers to buy more than. Thanks to, these companies can create much unemployment who have job opportunities so that they earn money for their lives. Moreover, advertising plays an important in modern business, owing to this industry can give as well as developing the economy of the local community. At present, advertising is one of the highest services in many developing and developed countries. Using advertisement to help residential areas can update much information in term of many aspects such as the ingredient of food, how to avoid cancer disease, or maybe prices product are increasing. However, fast food is one of the developed industry in many countries but the local governments should propose several solutions to introduce a new law on using fast food over especially children and young people to avoid by the abuse eat this food. For example, the local government should raise people’s awareness on problems in term of healthy fast food. In conclusion, the reasons as I mentioned above, I believed that people have no right to ban to use advertisement in many companies as well as fast food companies.
Talking about advertisements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to advertise in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider that advertising should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that advertising
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
. In my opinion, I total
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have rights to advertise.

Why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
does not
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
advertise on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. I don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this. There are several reasons that answering all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have the right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
. Advertising is a key part of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and services. Nowadays, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
using to advertise to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to customers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
more than. Thanks to, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can create much unemployment who have job opportunities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they earn money for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Moreover
, advertising plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in modern business, owing to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
can give
as well
as developing the economy of the local community. At present, advertising is one of the highest services in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
developing and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
. Using advertisement to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
residential areas can update much information in term of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects such as the ingredient of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, how to avoid cancer disease, or maybe prices
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
are increasing.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is one of the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should propose several solutions to introduce a new law on using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
over
especially
children and young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to avoid by the abuse eat this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
For example
, the local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should raise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
awareness on problems in term of healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
food.

In conclusion
, the reasons as I mentioned above, I believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have no right to ban to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
advertisement in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people think that fast food companies should not be allowed to advertise while others believed that all companies should have the right to advertise What is your opinion v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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