Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many people think that countries should import less food and produce more for their population. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Many people think that countries should import less food and produce more for their population. v. 1
Is there a link between video games, films and violence? An ever-increasing number of teens incline more to play harsh video games which are gaining popularity these days. It is widely argued that these types of films and games should be prohibited as they promote aggressiveness in the community as opposed to others who consider them as pastimes. Through the first lens, violent films and video games may incite teenagers to commit criminal offences. Some studies have shown that there is a positive correlation between watching films and physical aggression against another person. If adolescents or even adults are consistently exposed to a certain amount of aggressive behaviour or foul language, it will be normal for them to do such behaviour in their real life. Having been normalized, improper conduct would not be counted as a crime by individuals. Hence, this trend predisposes teens, in particular, to commit a crime and increases the crime rate in society. On the other hand, despite being the number one source of violence, computer games and films have been a form of escapism from the real world. Watching violent actions and playing aggressive video games is believed to help people release their stress and suppressed emotions. They not only become a hobby for people who are bored but also give winning and fighting spirit to players and audiences, which allow individuals to learn how to tackle violence in their future. To sum up, although exposure to violent computer games and movies have detrimental effects on children and escalates juvenile crime, in my opinion, limited access to these types of entertainments could improve our cognitive functions and ward off anxiety.
Is there a link between
video
games
, films and violence? An ever-increasing number of teens incline more to play harsh
video
games
which are gaining popularity these days. It is
widely
argued that these types of films and
games
should
be prohibited
as they promote aggressiveness in the community as opposed to others who consider them as pastimes.

Through the
first
lens, violent films and
video
games
may incite
teenagers
to commit criminal
offences
.
Some
studies have shown that there is a
positive
correlation between watching films and physical aggression against another person. If adolescents or even adults are
consistently
exposed to a certain amount of aggressive
behaviour
or foul language, it will be normal for them to do such
behaviour
in their real life. Having
been normalized
, improper conduct would not
be counted
as a
crime
by individuals.
Hence
, this trend predisposes teens,
in particular
, to commit a
crime
and increases the
crime
rate in society.

On the other hand
, despite being the number one source of violence, computer
games
and films have been a form of escapism from the real world. Watching violent actions and playing aggressive
video
games
is believed
to
help
people
release their
stress
and suppressed emotions. They not
only
become a hobby for
people
who
are bored
but
also
give winning and fighting spirit to players and audiences, which
allow
individuals to learn how to tackle violence in their future.

To sum up, although exposure to violent computer
games
and movies have detrimental effects on children and escalates juvenile
crime
, in my opinion, limited access to these types of entertainments could
improve
our cognitive functions and ward off anxiety.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people think that countries should import less food and produce more for their population. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts