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People think that countries should produce food their population eats and import less food as much as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

People think that countries should produce food their population eats and import less food as much as possible. v. 1
According to some people government should diminish the imported food products and strive to fulfil the people's demands by increasing local food production. I completely agree with the given idea mentioned above. Food is a vital element in people's life as water that is why it should be a priority for governments to meet local demand. There are several benefits of such economic policy. Firstly, by establishing or increasing agricultural facilities countries terminate the dependance on neighbour states and they can guarantee themselves from unexpected situations, such as war or natural disasters. The obstruction of agricultural infrastructures takes a long time to be ready, that is why countries would not have sufficient time to erect food production facilities when they encountered with the aforementioned situation. For example, until 2012 the trade amount of food products between Turkey and Russia was significantly greater and almost 80 percent of Russian food industry was depended on Turkey and most of the vegetables and fruits were turkish products. But in 2012 there was a jet crisis between these countries and due to that the relation between the 2 states stopped and Russia made an embargo for turkish products. Then the prices were dramatically raised in Russia due to the lack of food. Secondly, unemployment rates would be declined by creating food industry. Since ancient ages people have worked on farms and sown areas. Despite the technological advancement, today there are high workforce demand for agriculture. To put in another way, countries can create job opportunities for residents at the same time with ensuring it is internal demand. Additionally, as the local production are increasing countries get an opportunity to export excessive products. In conclusion, I completely believe that there is no point importing food products while every country has a potential to erect healthier and safer food industry.
According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should diminish the imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and strive to fulfil the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demands
by increasing local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
production. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
mentioned above.

Food is a vital element in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life as water
that is
why it should be a priority for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
. There are several benefits of such economic policy.
Firstly
, by establishing or increasing agricultural facilities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
terminate the
Possible spelling mistake found.
dependance
on
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbour' is British English.
neighbour
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
states and
they can guarantee themselves from unexpected situations, such as war or natural disasters. The obstruction of agricultural infrastructures takes a long time to be ready,
that is
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
would not have sufficient time to erect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
production facilities when they encountered with the aforementioned situation.
For example
, until 2012 the trade amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
between Turkey and Russia was
significantly
greater and almost 80 percent of Russian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
industry
was depended
on Turkey and most of the vegetables and fruits were
Possible spelling mistake found.
turkish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in 2012 there was a jet crisis between these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and due to that the relation between the 2 states
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
and Russia made an embargo for
Possible spelling mistake found.
turkish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. Then the prices were
dramatically
raised in Russia due to the lack of food.

Secondly
, unemployment rates would
be declined
by creating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
industry. Since ancient ages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have worked on farms and sown areas. Despite the technological advancement,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
there are high workforce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
for agriculture. To put in another way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can create job opportunities for residents at the same time with ensuring it is internal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
.
Additionally
, as the local production are increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an opportunity to export excessive products.

In conclusion
, I completely believe that there is no point importing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
while every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has a potential to erect healthier and safer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
industry.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The joy of knowing a foreign language is inexpressible. I find it really difficult to express such joy in my mother tongue.
Munia Khan

IELTS essay People think that countries should produce food their population eats and import less food as much as possible. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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