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Many people think modern communication technology is having some negative effects on social relationships. Do you agree or disagree? v.5

Many people think modern communication technology is having some negative effects on social relationships. v. 5
It is an irrefutable fact that contemporary telecommunications have over exceeded the predictions of common masses since the medieval period and its wide range of applications across the globe is effective and efficient. However, it is often argued by the majority of people that there are some detrimental consequences on social connectedness. Despite having few hurdles associated with communication technologies, I assert that benefits outweigh due to its extensive advantages offer to mankind. This essay will unfold both the views prior to drawing and plausible conclusion. To embark with, there are some reasons for this dire repercussions due to social intercourse. First and foremost, it significantly hinders the face-to-face interactions among people, especially students of secondary and tertiary education are victimized profoundly. By this, I mean that these days large section of society owns a mobile phone and they are vividly relying on social texting applications instead of verbal communication. Eventually, it has been undermining their communication skills, overall. Additionally, many people are divorcing after marriage knowing the fact that either of the partners was in an intimate relationship with multiple persons online. Consequently, jeopardizing their children life. On the flip side, the proliferation of cutting-edge technologies in the communication erasing barriers between countries and sustaining the world a global village. For instance, people in olden days bound to walk miles to communicate, gone are those days, mankind is able to interact virtually at push of a button. Furthermore, telecommunications has revolutionized the medium of interaction among communities, groups, non-profit organizations, and unknown citizens. In other words, people who intent to socialize or organize a protest against the government or indulge in charity programs can mobilize in no time. Not to mention, people can share a vast amount of resources and can use this technology as a medium for interpersonal development. To sum up, although having a couple of setbacks like lack of one to one interactions and indulging in unwanted post-marital relationships, I believe that revolutionary telecommunications are utmost imperative in eliminating subtle obstacles between cross-border communications as well as aiding in mobilizing, by building stronger alliances among each other. Given this situation, it is recommended that people should make use of state-of-the-art technologies productively in architecting associations.
It is an irrefutable fact that contemporary telecommunications have over exceeded the predictions of common masses since the medieval period and its wide range of applications across the globe is effective and efficient.
However
, it is
often
argued by the majority of
people
that there are
some
detrimental consequences on social connectedness. Despite having few hurdles associated with
communication
technologies
, I assert that benefits outweigh due to its extensive advantages offer to mankind. This essay will unfold both the views prior to drawing and plausible conclusion.

To embark with, there are
some
reasons for this dire repercussions due to social intercourse.
First
and foremost, it
significantly
hinders the face-to-face interactions among
people
,
especially
students of secondary and tertiary education
are victimized
profoundly
. By this, I mean that these days large section of society
owns
a mobile
phone and
they are
vividly
relying on social texting applications
instead
of verbal
communication
.
Eventually
, it has been undermining their
communication
skills
,
overall
.
Additionally
,
many
people
are divorcing after marriage knowing the fact that either of the partners was in an intimate relationship with multiple persons online.
Consequently
, jeopardizing their children life.

On the flip side, the proliferation of cutting-edge
technologies
in the
communication
erasing barriers between countries and sustaining the world a global village.
For instance
,
people
in olden days bound to walk miles to communicate, gone are those days, mankind is able to interact
virtually
at push of a button.
Furthermore
, telecommunications has revolutionized the medium of interaction among communities, groups, non-profit organizations, and unknown citizens.
In other words
,
people
who intent to socialize or organize a protest against the
government
or indulge in charity programs can mobilize in no time. Not to mention,
people
can share a vast amount of resources and can
use
this
technology
as a medium for interpersonal development.

To sum up, although having a couple of setbacks like lack of one to
one interactions
and indulging in unwanted post-marital relationships, I believe that revolutionary telecommunications are utmost imperative in eliminating subtle obstacles between cross-border communications
as well
as aiding in mobilizing, by building stronger alliances among each other.
Given
this situation, it
is recommended
that
people
should
make
use
of state-of-the-art
technologies
productively
in architecting associations.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
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Munia Khan

IELTS essay Many people think modern communication technology is having some negative effects on social relationships. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
369 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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