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Many people think modern communication technology is having some negative effects on social relationships. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Many people think modern communication technology is having some negative effects on social relationships. v. 2
Technology has become so advanced that it can translate any language. Many people believe that because of technological support, it is no longer necessary to teach children any additional language. In my opinion, I completely disagree with the statement because over-dependence on computers affects our personal growth and also it leads to a communication gap. Communication through technology will lead to lack of understanding among the people. The same word can have different meanings in different contexts. Likewise, different words can have the same meaning. Using a particular word in the right context requires some special skills which computer applications do not possess. For instance, club, band, association and group are all synonyms of society, but not all of them can fit in one particular context; therefore there will be some lack of clarity when computers are used to translate. A language is an expression of a culture which only a human being can understand properly. At the same time, over dependence on computers affects our personal growth. When we expose children to the technology to translate a language, then we become over dependent on computers. The result is that we fail to develop our intellectual abilities, which further hinders our ability to solve complex problems. Thus, the cognitive ability to perform a particular task tends to diminish. Furthermore, we will not have access to technology every time and everywhere. For example, in remote places we will not be able to make use of technology due to lack of support; therefore, in those cases, we need to develop our own learning skills in order to communicate with the locals. In conclusion, over dependence on computers will spoil our intellectual development and also such technology can create a communication gap among the people.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
advanced that it can translate any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of technological support, it is no longer necessary to teach children any additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. In my opinion, I completely disagree with the statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
over-dependence on computers affects our personal growth and
also
it leads to a communication gap.

Communication through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will lead to lack of understanding among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. The same word can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
meanings in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
contexts.
Likewise
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
words can have the same meaning. Using a particular word in the right context requires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
special
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which computer applications do not possess.
For instance
, club, band, association and group are all synonyms of society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not all of them can fit in one particular context;
therefore
there will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
lack of clarity when computers are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to translate. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is an expression of a culture which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a human being can understand
properly
.

At the same time, over dependence on computers affects our personal growth. When we expose children to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
to translate a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, then we become over dependent on computers. The result is that we fail to develop our intellectual abilities, which
further
hinders our ability to solve complex problems.
Thus
, the cognitive ability to perform a particular task tends to diminish.
Furthermore
, we will not have access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
every time and everywhere.
For example
, in remote places we will not be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
due to lack of support;
therefore
, in those cases, we need to develop our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
learning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in order to communicate with the locals.

In conclusion
, over dependence on computers will spoil our intellectual development and
also
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can create a communication gap among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people think modern communication technology is having some negative effects on social relationships. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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