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Your friend is planning to start an import-export business and has sought your recommendation on a product. Write a letter to him/her. In your letter, explain: what product you recommendwhy you recommend that producthow it could benefit him/her in businessW v.1

Your friend is planning to start an import-export business and has sought your recommendation on a product. Write a letter to him/her. In your letter, explain: what product you recommendwhy you recommend that producthow it could benefit him/her in businessW v. 1
Advancement in medical technologies has steadily increased the living age of the people in many countries. This has lead to many problems for the individuals and for the society, like increased health care cost and overpopulation in urban cities. This essay will discuss the issues and the solutions to decrease the impact of ageing population. Ageing population causes increased spending of tax payers dollars on health care and housing. Since people are living longer the health care cost usually increases with the increase in age. As people tend to need additional care during the later part of their life. For instance, people over 60 years of age generally require health checkups and medicine for common alignments like blood pressure and diabetic care. In addition, this also leads to overpopulation in the urban cities. As older people tend to live with close relatives who would usually work in the city. For example, they would live with their working son or daughter in the city. This causes the government to spend additional money on health care and housing for the elderly population. However, Raising awareness of exercise and balanced diet combined with having a separate housing for the retired people could address the reported issues. Firstly, encouraging the elderly to regular exercise and follow a balanced diet would reduce the health care cost. Since this would keep the elderly from being sick or requiring constant medical care. In this case, It would make the elderly active and to take care of themselves. Secondly, building retirement and senior living homes would move the aged population away from the city centre. For example, having a retirement living outside the city would encourage people to move out and form a social group among themselves. These two reasons would reduce the impact on the society and individuals. In conclusion, Even though the aging population provides a few challenges to the individuals and the society. We could address the issues by raising awareness on exercise, having balanced diet along with well established retirement community and care. In the future, this could be used as a model care for all citizens around the world.
Advancement in medical technologies has
steadily
increased the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
age of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries. This has lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems for the individuals and for the society, like increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
cost and overpopulation in urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. This essay will discuss the issues and the solutions to decrease the impact of
Possible spelling mistake. 'ageing' is British English.
ageing
population.

Possible spelling mistake. 'Ageing' is British English.
Ageing
population causes increased spending of tax payers dollars on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
and housing.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
longer the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
cost
usually
increases with the increase in age.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to need additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
during the later part of their life.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
over 60 years of age
generally
require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
checkups and medicine for common alignments like blood pressure and diabetic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
.
In addition
, this
also
leads to overpopulation in the urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with close relatives who would
usually
work in the city.
For example
, they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with their working son or daughter in the city. This causes the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to spend additional money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
and housing for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
population.

However
, Raising awareness of exercise and balanced diet combined with having a separate housing for the retired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could address the reported issues.
Firstly
, encouraging the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
to regular exercise and follow a balanced diet would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
cost. Since this would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
from being sick or requiring constant medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
.
In this case
, It would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
active and to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of themselves.
Secondly
, building retirement and senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
homes would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
the aged population away from the city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
.
For example
, having a retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
outside the city would encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
out and form a social group among themselves. These two reasons would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the impact on the society and individuals.

In conclusion
,
Even though
the aging population provides a few challenges to the individuals and the society. We could address the issues by raising awareness on exercise, having balanced diet along with well established retirement community and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
. In the future, this could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a model
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
for all citizens around the world.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Your friend is planning to start an import-export business and has sought your recommendation on a product. Write a letter to him/her. In your letter, explain: what product you recommendwhy you recommend that producthow it could benefit him/her in businessW v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
356 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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