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Is development of robots fruitful or dangerous? Discuss advantages and disadvantages. v.1

Is development of robots fruitful or dangerous? Discuss advantages and disadvantages. v. 1
Due to advancement in technology, people's life became more realistic. It is a pandemic debate in the world, development of robot is good things or bad things. While this approach has too many advantages and disadvantages, this essay will emphasise both approaches along with a conclusion in the following paragraphs. To commence with, augmentation of robot is very good things, because it has many dominances. First and foremost, by robot, people can save their life in dangerous places. By robot through, they can defend a terrorist attack. To buttress, robot will utilize as a soldier in terrorist place, by this, they defend terrorist and save a person's life. One more ascendancy is that its usage in industrial areas where the risk is higher, like a chemical industry, where through robot, people can acquire a higher profit without faces any tragedies such as a skin burning, and so on. For example, over 25 countries had been used robot in a chemical company. Therefore, not only they obtain more profit, but also save an employee soul. There are some drawbacks also, alternatively, robot's maintenance cost is very high. By this, the government can invest more payment for the approaching further evolution of robot. The government already have faced too many problems related advancement, they will take borrow some fund for continuing this approach. So, the country will face too many problems related to pay. One more limitation is, if the innovation of robot is dramatically increasing, then the unemployment rate will rise. This is because, by this, an automation industry develops where robots are working instead of people. For instance, according to Mumbai University, 46% of unemployment rate had been increased since 2019 owing to advancement of robots. Henceforth to conclude, shadow of people (robot) through which people can save their life in some difficulties situation like either a terrorist attack or in a chemical industry, whilst augmenting of robot is the main reason for the unemployment, also the national will take borrow a money from another nation. It is suggested that government should invest money on other problems before the investment of robot.
Due to advancement in technology,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
became more realistic. It is a pandemic debate in the world, development of robot is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
things or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
things. While this approach has too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages and disadvantages, this essay will
Possible spelling mistake. 'emphasise' is British English.
emphasise
both approaches along with a conclusion in the following paragraphs.

To commence with, augmentation of robot is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
things,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
dominances
.
First
and foremost, by robot,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
places. By robot through, they can defend a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
terrorist
attack. To buttress, robot will utilize as a soldier in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
terrorist
place, by this, they defend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
terrorist
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
a person's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. One more ascendancy is that its usage in industrial areas where the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
is higher, like a chemical industry, where through robot,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can acquire a higher profit without faces any tragedies such as a skin burning, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
For example
, over 25 countries had been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
robot in a chemical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
Therefore
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
they obtain more profit,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
an employee soul.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks
also
,
alternatively
, robot's maintenance cost is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high. By this, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can invest more payment for the approaching
further
evolution of robot. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
already have faced too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems related advancement, they will take borrow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fund for continuing this approach.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the country will face too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems related to pay. One more limitation is, if the innovation of robot is
dramatically
increasing, then the unemployment rate will rise. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, by this, an automation industry develops where robots are working
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
, according to Mumbai University, 46% of unemployment rate had
been increased
since 2019 owing to advancement of robots.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Henceforth
to conclude
, shadow of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
(robot) through which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "difficulties'" or "difficulty's"?
difficulties
situation like either a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
terrorist
attack or in a chemical industry, whilst augmenting of robot is the main reason for the unemployment,
also
the national will take borrow
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "money".
a money
from another nation. It
is suggested
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should invest money on other problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the investment of robot.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Is development of robots fruitful or dangerous? Discuss advantages and disadvantages. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
352 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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